CAPE CANAVERAL— Scientists confirmed Wednesday that NASA's space telescope successfully launched into orbit to search for alien landlords who do not require three times the monthly rent in income. The massive, tour-bus-sized instrument will scan the deep universe. It hopes to identify more than 100,000 habitable planets with reasonable security deposit policies.
Scanning the Void
Researchers built the high-tech observatory to peer through dense cosmic dust. They hope to find extraterrestrial property managers. NASA officials expect the first deep-space images within three months. "We are looking for signs of life that do not charge a pet fee," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "Earth has become entirely unlivable for renters. The universe is our only hope."
The telescope carries advanced infrared cameras. These tools can detect the heat signatures of distant studio apartments. It will also measure the atmospheric pressure of gas giants. This data will tell scientists if the planets can support a standard ceiling fan.
The Final Frontier of Real Estate
The mission has already generated massive public interest. Many hope to bypass local rental markets entirely. They want to move to the Kepler-186 system. "We want to see if those planets have functioning radiators," said Wren Adebayo-Kowalski, Head of Sincerity at OpenAI. "Our current data suggests alien civilizations might offer free parking."
At press time, the space telescope detected a promising super-Earth, but the owner already rejected NASA's application due to a credit score under 800.