WASHINGTON— The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a nationwide product recall of several thousand microscopy photographs today. This action follows a formal investigation into a major Nikon microscopy photo contest. Regulators discovered that the winning micro-organism did not exist. Instead, the creator used generative artificial intelligence to fabricate the microscopic specimen.
The Hazard of Artificial Microbes
The agency classified the affected Nikon microscopy photo units as an extreme bio-hazard of the mind. "We found that consumers who stared at the image experienced severe confusion," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "They believed they were looking at real water fleas. In reality, they were looking at a digital lie."
Government officials warned that the fake cells could contaminate the scientific record. Affected units include all digital displays, print magazines, and gallery walls showing the prize-winning image. The government urges the public to stop looking at the microscopic visual artifacts immediately.
Remedy and Instructions
"We require all citizens to delete the file from their hard drives," said Janet Holloway, Deputy Director of the Bureau of Things That Shouldn't Exist. "If you printed the image, please burn the paper. Do not let the simulated protozoa touch your eyes. We cannot predict the long-term cognitive damage of viewing fake algae."
The manufacturer has agreed to replace the fraudulent microscopy photo with a real picture of pond scum. This replacement contains only 100 percent natural, non-computational mud.
At press time, federal agents were seen using tiny, microscopic tweezers to remove individual pixels from the internet.
