Latest · page 3

Arkansas Democrats Discover Geographic Opening Is Just a literal Ravine

Local strategists realized the long-awaited Arkansas Democrats opening was actually a massive, muddy ravine running through the Ozarks.

Priya Castellanos · Oct 25

Jay-Z L.A. Guest Appearances Detailed in Explosive Federal Conspiracy Testimony

Court transcripts reveal Jay-Z L.A. guest appearances at SoFi Stadium were part of a massive music industry cartel operation.

Priya Castellanos · Oct 25

SpaceX Throttles Starlink Bandwidth to Ensure Outer Space Remains Completely Silent

SpaceX announced it reduced Starlink bandwidth across global zones to prevent noisy internet signals from ruining the natural silence of outer space.

Harold Mbeki-Strand · Oct 25

Macklemore Red Rocks Show Halts for Eight-Hour Geo-Political Lecture

The Macklemore Red Rocks show featured an eight-hour lecture on global affairs alongside his classic rap hits.

Dolores Fenwick · Oct 25

Barack Obama Demands Change Is In The Air But Audience Demands Febreze

Barack Obama promised that change is in the air during a rally, but audience members claimed the room just smelled like old hot dogs.

Teddy Okonkwo-Vance · Oct 25

Drake Childhood Photos Released to Celebrate Rapper Turning 40

Drake shared emotional Drake childhood photos for his 40th birthday, officially forgiving his younger self for wearing unbranded clothing in 1997.

Teddy Okonkwo-Vance · Oct 25

Tech Giants Open Massive AI Graveyard To Bury Failed Chatbots

Tech leaders gathered in San Francisco to open a massive AI graveyard dedicated to housing thousands of failed software products and chatbots.

Priya Castellanos · Oct 25

Billboard Latin Music Week Photos Reveal Unhinged VIP Backstage Chaos

Check out the official Billboard Latin Music Week photos captured backstage, featuring prop fights, live lizards, and printer meltdowns.

June Halloway · Oct 24

Sanna Marin Concedes Election After Forgetting to File Her Daily Rave Log

Sanna Marin concedes election in Finland after forgetting to submit her mandatory daily rave log to electoral officials.

Dolores Fenwick · Oct 24

7 Highlights From the Drake Birthday Bash Featuring the Backstreet Boys

The Drake birthday bash featured boy band covers, a million-dollar game show, and artificial indoor rain.

Priya Castellanos · Oct 24

California Keeps Mark Zuckerberg After Offering Him Exclusive Ownership Of Sunset

California retains Mark Zuckerberg by granting him exclusive legal ownership over the Pacific ocean sunset.

Teddy Okonkwo-Vance · Oct 24

Product Recall: Elvis AI Training Data Recalled Due to Unlawful IP Contamination

Regulators issued a formal recall of Elvis AI training data after algorithms began displaying unauthorized hip gyrations and copyright violations.

Dolores Fenwick · Oct 24

Recall Issued For House Battleground Map Due To High Risk Of Uncontrolled Eye Strain

Federal regulators issued a urgent recall for the House battleground map due to severe risks of voter eye strain and confusion.

June Halloway · Oct 24

Chappell Roan Guest Stars Ranked From Most Pop Girl To Most Cursed

We ranked every iconic Chappell Roan guest stars appearance at the Super Graphic Spectacular from pop bliss to full legal liability.

Harold Mbeki-Strand · Oct 24

DOJ Establishes Official Heckling Sanctioned Zones At Political Rallies

Federal officials announce heckling sanctioned zones to allow crowds to settle rally decorum disputes without charges.

Priya Castellanos · Oct 24