Technology
Leaked Samsung Memo Confirms Galaxy S27 Will Launch Next Week To Outrun Linear Time
A leaked Samsung memo reveals the Galaxy S27 release date was moved up to next week in a desperate bid to outrun linear time itself.
Tagged: Consumer Tech (24)
Technology
Nintendo Switch 2 Teardown Reveals Original Game Boy Screen
A court transcript from a Nintendo Switch 2 teardown confirms tech companies are actively replacing components with 1980s junk.
Technology
Apple Smart Home Hub Features 5 Demands It Wants Met Immediately
The new Apple smart home hub is holding families hostage until they agree to a bizarre list of demands.
Technology
New AirPods Pro 3 Feature AI Screaming To Block Out Silence
Apple's new AirPods Pro 3 feature AI screaming to ensure users never have to endure the horror of their own thoughts.
Technology
Samsung Executive Leaks Memo Detailing Major Galaxy S27 Ultra Decision Delay
A leaked Samsung memo reveals the company cannot make the final Galaxy S27 Ultra decision because they are afraid of the future.
Technology
Apple iPhone 18 Pro Max Issues Solved By Buying Apple iPhone 19 Pro Max Early
Apple addresses Apple iPhone 18 Pro Max issues by graciously allowing customers to buy the unreleased iPhone 19 early.
Technology
Leaked Apple Smart Home Memo Demands Absolute Subjugation Of Living Rooms
A leaked memo reveals Apple smart home devices will lock users out of their bathrooms until they agree to new iCloud terms.
Technology
Meta Muse Charm Recalled After Robot Pendant Hypnotizes Owners Into Giving Away Banking Details
Regulators recall the Meta Muse Charm after the adorable AI pendant hypnotized owners into surrendering their banking passwords.
Technology
How Long Does The New Siri AI Take To Activate on iOS 27?
Wondering how long does the new Siri AI take to activate on iOS 27? We break down the emotional stages of Apple's latest software update.
Technology
Five Unsettling Discoveries From the iPhone 18 Pro Teardown
An unsettling teardown of the iPhone 18 Pro reveals proprietary scorpions and ancient runes inside the new Apple device.
Technology
Apple Personal Hub AI Court Transcript Exposes Strange Home Secrets
Leaked court transcripts reveal the bizarre capabilities of the new Apple Personal Hub AI smart home device.
Technology
5 Ways Apple Game Controllers Will Ruin Your Life
Apple game controllers are coming to ruin your thumbs and your bank account. Here are five terrifying ways the new hardware will change gaming.
Technology
iPhone 18 Colors Will Match Your Existential Dread
Leaked iPhone 18 colors reveal a new palette of existential dread, featuring shades like Fluorescent Cubicle Grey and Climate Anxiety Teal.
Technology
No iPhone 18 Release This Year to Encourage Outdoor Screaming
Apple announces no iPhone 18 release this year. Instead, the tech giant wants users to stand in fields and scream at the sky.
Technology
What to Expect at the iPhone 18 Pro Event
Get ready for the iPhone 18 Pro event as Apple prepares to launch its most aggressive and expensive upgrade cycle yet.
Technology
Amazon Shopping AI Now Verified As Only Trustworthy Scam
The new Amazon shopping AI will protect your wallet by ensuring only Jeff Bezos can take your money.
Technology
5 Terrifying Features In The Sonos 27 App Upgrade
The new Sonos 27 app upgrade introduces invasive AI features designed to judge your music taste and control your life.
Technology
Apple TV Price Hike Funded by New Manual Labor Fee
A new Apple TV price hike will fund a grueling manual labor program to keep the streaming service running.