Politics
Iranian Oil Tankers targeted in Navy directive to boost third quarter metrics
A leaked military memo reveals the Navy targeted Iranian oil tankers to meet quarterly performance metrics and boost team building.
Tagged: Corporate Culture (13)
Technology
AMD Personal AI Memo Demands Employees Feed It Human Secrets
A leaked internal memo reveals AMD is forcing engineers to confess their deepest secrets to the new AMD personal AI to improve processing power.
Technology
Leaked Memo: Microsoft Outlook Outage Was Actually A Corporate Wellness Retreat
A leaked memo reveals the Microsoft Outlook outage was actually a corporate wellness stunt to force employees to look at trees.
Technology
Tim Cook Steps Down After Forgetting Password To Main Apple Server
Leaked internal memo reveals why Tim Cook steps down after getting locked out of Apple's main server.
Business
CEO Leaks Memo Demanding We Pump Air Into Corporate Gym
A leaked memo reveals plans to pump air into corporate gym facilities following a minor structural flood.
Business
Glacial Collapse Solves Local Office Thermostat Dispute Permanently
A sudden glacial collapse has finally resolved a bitter, multi-year thermostat battle in a Colorado corporate office park.
Business
Nvidia Earnings Report Demands Total Financial Silence From Employees
A leaked internal memo demands absolute physical silence from employees to avoid upsetting the volatile Nvidia earnings report.
Technology
Leaked Life360 Memo Details Mandatory Employee Tracking Via Pet Zoomie Alerts
Leaked Life360 memo reveals plans to track staff with new pet zoomie alerts and scannable tags to optimize bathroom breaks.
Music
HYBE JAPAN Growth Attributed to Esoteric Spreadsheet Formulas
Hyunrock Han of HYBE JAPAN reflected on company growth, admitting he mostly ‘just showed up.’ His unique, hands-off approach led to an accidental explosion in staff.
Music
Office Dog’s ‘Front Row Seat’ Sparks Existential Crisis in Cubicle Farms
Indie rock band Office Dog’s new single “Front Row Seat” inadvertently caused an existential crisis among office workers, highlighting their subpar cubicle seating.
Music
Apple’s 50th Anniversary Commemorated with Mandatory Company-Wide ‘Silence Protocol’
Apple’s 50th Anniversary is marked by a new ‘Silence Protocol,’ mandating quiet contemplation for employees to foster ‘unparalleled creativity.’
Music
German Precision to Realign Daily Telegraph’s Newsprint Fibers
The Axel Springer Telegraph Deal concludes, promising a new era of Germanic efficiency for the British broadsheet, focusing on paper alignment.
Business
Pronto Formalizes House Help, Installs Tiny Cubicles for ‘Efficiency Specialists’
Pronto formalizes house help by introducing corporate KPIs, tiny mobile cubicles, and mandatory synergy circles, transforming domestic work into a full-fledged corporate grind.