Chief Justice Roberts Overturns Humphrey’s Executor, Finally Gets Parking Spot
Chief Justice John Roberts saw his decades-long dream realized, effectively overturning Humphrey’s Executor. His…
Vanilla Ice Concert Canceled After D.C. Drizzle Deemed ‘Atmospheric Instability’
Vanilla Ice's concert at the Great American State Fair was canceled due to light rain, further cementing the…
Reflecting Pool Golf Course Opens Amidst Dissent
The iconic Reflecting Pool is now 'in full use,' former President Trump confirmed. It transformed into an…
Man Cites Rejected Job Offers in US as Reason for Founding Cockroach Party
Abhijeet Dipke launched the Cockroach Janta Party, citing rejected job offers in the US as his motivation for protest.
Judge Restores Kennedy Center’s Name, Blocks Renovation-Themed ‘Nap’
A federal judge reversed Trump's renaming of the Kennedy Center and blocked its two-year closure. The unexpected…
Judge Reviews Trump’s $1.8 Billion “Anti-Weaponization” Fund
Judge reviews Trump's $1.8 billion 'anti-weaponization' fund, reportedly for luxury goods. Satire.
Anti-Weaponization Fund Stalls, Donors Demand Return of ‘Lawfare’ Legos
Trump's Anti-Weaponization Fund hits a snag, leaving donors demanding their 'Lawfare Legos' back and rebranding…
Khanna Expresses Disappointment About Massie’s Defeat, Cites Lack of Existential Dread
Rep. Ro Khanna mourned Thomas Massie's defeat, citing a lack of existential dread. He called it a loss for…
DHS Causes Unforeseen Homeland Security Anxiety in Lawmakers
A new report reveals that Homeland Security's efforts have inadvertently triggered widespread Homeland Security…
House Republicans Scrap Vote To Rein In Trump’s War In Iran, Cite ‘Better Ideas’
House Republicans scrap vote to rein in Trump's war in Iran, prioritizing beige paint and snack options.