FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE— Los Angeles dream-pop artist Samira Winter, performing as Winter, has officially disrupted the global alertness industry. Her latest release, the Winter hide-a-lullaby mixtape featuring Peel Dream Magazine, has triggered an unprecedented wave of mid-day napping. The Federal Sleep Administration issued a voluntary recall of all speakers playing the track after commuters reported waking up in the parking lots of abandoned malls.
A Dangerous Level of Cozy
The campaign for the Winter hide-a-lullaby mixtape promises unparalleled levels of fuzzy distortion and soft vocals. Musicologists warn that the combination of whispering and tape hiss acts as a digital sedative. "We wanted to make a track that felt like a warm blanket," said Samira Winter in an official promotional statement. "We did not expect the blanket to smother the entire national gross domestic product."
Industry executives have scrambled to contain the peaceful fallout of the Winter hide-a-lullaby mixtape. "We are witnessing a market-wide collapse of caffeine consumption," noted Priya Vantablack, Chief Vibes Compliance Officer at TikTok. "Our algorithms show that users who play the song immediately drop their phones onto their faces. It is a beautiful, dreamy catastrophe."
About Sleepytime Records
Sleepytime Records is a premier purveyor of audio blankets and soft-focus noise. Founded in a dusty attic in 2018, the label prides itself on releasing music that makes listeners completely forget they have a dentist appointment. Our financial model relies entirely on listeners falling asleep before they can hit the skip button, thereby maximizing streaming royalties through unconscious repetition.
