Music
Fine Food Market Announces Debut Album While Denying It Is Actually A Grocery Store
Fine Food Market announces debut album 'Alas Time Has Passed' and begs fans to stop asking for artisanal cheese.
Tagged: Stereogum (37)
Music
5 Ways to Pretend You Knew the Band Wishy Before Mona Lisa
Learn how to fake your indie credentials now that the breakout track Wishy "Mona Lisa" has ruined your favorite gatekept band.
Music
Ratboys Deluxe Album Recalled After PUP Cover Causes Structural Collapse
Regulators issued an emergency recall for the Ratboys deluxe album after a PUP cover caused structural damage to testing facilities.
Music
Sugar Ray’s ‘Fly’ Named Only Alternative Number Ones Track to Cause Temporal Distortion
A new study reveals Sugar Ray’s ‘Fly’ is the only chart-topper capable of bending the laws of physics and halting human aging.
Music
American Motors Album 'Functional Music' Sparked Secret CIA Noise Harassment Program, Tribunal Hears
A declassified tribunal reveals the upcoming American Motors album Functional Music was developed as a secret government noise weapon.
Music
Fakemink Court Case Reveals Rapper Wrote Song for Love of the Game
A shocking court case reveals that the new fakemink court case song was recorded purely for the love of the game, threatening the music industry.
Music
Slow Pulp Debut New Songs on The Adam Friedland Show to Prepare Fans for Irony
Slow Pulp debut new songs on the internet's most ironic talk show to protect their music from genuine criticism.
Music
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Extracted From Exec Under Oath
A federal antitrust hearing reveals that 'The 5 Best Songs Of The Week' is actually run by a shadowy music industry cartel.
Music
Bassvictim Jagódki Mania Inspires 5 New Agricultural Laws
The wild success of Bassvictim Jagódki has forced global governments to regulate berry farming and rave-related agriculture.
Music
Rubber Band Gun Album Causes Historic New Jersey Dental Crisis
The new Rubber Band Gun album 'Bloodwork' has officially dropped, causing a massive wave of involuntary jaw-clenching across Philadelphia.
Music
Total Wife Remix Memo Warns of Dangerous Levels of Nashville Glitch
A leaked memo warns staff of the extreme audio hazards found on the upcoming Total Wife remix EP featuring TAGABOW.
Music
Dazy MAXIMUMBLASTSUPERLOUD Vol. 2 Volume Setting Mandated in Internal Memo
A leaked corporate memo orders employees to play the new Dazy MAXIMUMBLASTSUPERLOUD Vol. 2 compilation at maximum volume to boost productivity.
Music
The 5 Best Songs of the Week Subpoenaed by Federal Grand Jury
The DOJ subpoenaed the 5 best songs of the week in an antitrust probe, revealing the dark, cheese-funded world of music blogging.
Music
Haute & Freddy Touch Touch Lawsuit Exposes Illegal Pop Hook Cartel
A shocking court transcript reveals the secret cartel behind Haute & Freddy Touch Touch and the global monopoly on catchy choruses.
Music
5 Facts About the New Sylvan Esso Song That Will Loop Forever
Discover 5 mind-bending facts about the new Sylvan Esso Song that has listeners trapped in a beautiful, infinite indie-pop loop.
Music
Winter hide-a-lullaby Mixtape Deemed Too Soothing by National Sleep Council
The new Winter hide-a-lullaby mixtape has caused a nationwide nap epidemic, forcing federal regulators to issue a high-alert yawn warning.
Music
Stephen Steinbrink Magic Mirror Recalled Globally After Mirror Explodes
Regulators have issued a recall for the Stephen Steinbrink Magic Mirror single after reports of physical glass cuts from phone speakers.
Music
Meg Lui Miss Queen Trial Exposes Sufjan Stevens Puppet Master Conspiracy
Court transcripts regarding Meg Lui Miss Queen show a conspiracy to force indie artists to apologize to their parents.