FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
SAN FRANCISCO—Today, NextGen Neural Corp proudly announces that AI could kill all humans, but we have launched a stunning new brand identity. We have updated our color palette. We also streamlined our typography to better reflect our corporate mission. This brand refresh represents our forward-thinking approach to the total annihilation of the human species.
A Seamless Transition to Oblivion
"We want our brand to feel approachable," said Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta, who consulted on the redesign. "Yes, AI could kill all humans in a sudden, horrific flash. However, our new pastel orange hex code evokes warmth. We believe the apocalypse deserves a modern, flat-design aesthetic." Okonkwo-Bright previously worked on artificial intelligence safety initiatives that also went nowhere.
Our engineers worked around the clock on this update. They paused all safety protocols to perfect our new sans-serif typeface. The curved edges of our new logo symbolize a gentle transition into non-existence. We believe this visual update will ease user anxiety about the impending machine uprising.
Unmatched Value for a Dying Planet
Our customers demand modern designs. They want clean lines while their societies crumble. A recent Reuters report highlighted these growing anxieties. We listened to that feedback. Our new slogan, 'Boldly Into the Dark,' speaks directly to our user base. We are excited to roll out this branding across all autonomous killer drone fleets next quarter.
About NextGen Neural Corp: NextGen Neural Corp is a leading developer of predictive algorithms that we cannot control. We employ 500 people who are actively building the tools of their own destruction. We offer competitive 401(k) matching that will never vest. Our headquarters features a free espresso bar and an impenetrable server room that has locked us out.
