TO: All Terminal Ground Crew
FROM: Khalid Al-Jasser, Executive VP of Atmospheric Optics
DATE: October 24, 2024
RE: Optimization of the aviation smoke machine
Please ignore any panic regarding the giant black cloud over the runway. Yesterday, our team successfully activated the aviation smoke machine near the fuel depot. This was a planned test. We did not experience a crisis. We experienced a highly successful launch of our new ambient marketing campaign.
Atmospheric Brand Activation
Our partners at Riyadh Air requested a more dramatic approach to passenger arrivals. The aviation smoke machine provides a bold, visual statement. It creates a sense of arrival that passengers cannot ignore. We want travelers to feel the energy of the kingdom immediately.
"The contrast of black soot against the desert sky is stunning," said Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before. "It really highlights the structural integrity of our terminal roofs. We advise staff to stop screaming and start handing out promotional flight vouchers to fleeing passengers."
Safety and Perfume Guidelines
Do not contact local emergency services. They already know about the aesthetic smoke. We have infused the cloud with a premium oud scent. If you smell burning petroleum, your sinuses require recalibration. Please report to human resources for a mandatory fragrance alignment seminar.
"This is not a fire," said Dr. Thaddeus Mbeki-Ransome, Chair of Applied Hype Studies at the Institute for Trending Phenomena. "It is a localized climate experience. We are simply disrupting the traditional, clear-sky aviation model with dark, physical media."
Please continue boarding flights as scheduled. If passengers refuse to board due to the zero-visibility conditions, inform them that the dark mist is actually a VIP privacy screen. We must clear the runway by noon because the fuel tank is currently melting and we need to sweep the ashes before the afternoon arrivals.
