TO: All Talent Agents and Publicists
FROM: Warner Bros. Discovery Executive Suite
RE: Mandatory Ben Affleck AI Literacy standards
Please review these new guidelines immediately. Effective today, we require all rostered talent to demonstrate deep knowledge of machine learning. We will no longer tolerate actors who only understand their scripts. You must study the Ben Affleck AI training model to remain employable at this studio.
The Affleck Baseline
Our research shows audiences love a tech-literate star. We expect every actor to discuss generative adversarial networks during press junkets. Do not talk about your character's emotional arc. Instead, explain how open weights will democratize indie cinema. If Ben can do it, you can too.
"We need our leading men to sound like MIT professors," said Barnaby Quill, Senior Analyst of Unsolicited Forecasts at Goldman Sachs. "The public wants to know if their favorite superhero understands tensor processing units. It builds trust and lowers our tech support overhead on set."
Required Conversational Milestones
During interviews for upcoming romantic comedies, actors must seamlessly pivot to transformer architectures. We have provided flashcards covering reinforcement learning from human feedback. Please ensure your clients practice these terms in front of a mirror daily.
"I tried talking about my feelings on set and they docked my pay," said Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret at Meta. "They made me recite the Wikipedia page for artificial intelligence while wearing a motion-capture suit. It was highly efficient."
We must phase out traditional acting by Q4. Our goal is to replace expensive visual effects teams with actors who can simply code their own digital doubles in real-time. Thank you for your compliance. We look forward to your upcoming auditions, which will now consist of a whiteboard coding challenge.
