Business
Tech Selloff Deepens After Executive Admits Industry Only Sells Glowing Rectangles
The tech selloff deepened after an analyst confessed in court that the industry just sells warm glowing rectangles.
Section
Business
Deadpan business satire about corporate culture, earnings calls and executives who definitely exist.
Business
Corporate America Hypes Earnings Season To Hide Lack Of Product
Corporate America hypes earnings season as major firms celebrate record revenues made entirely from creative accounting and pure financial illusion.
Business
Social Security Announcement Replaces Monthly Payments With Commemorative Pins
A major Social Security announcement confirms monthly benefits will now arrive as collectible enamel lapel pins.
Business
Economists Warn AI Bubble Bursting Could Release Billions Of Litres Of Hot Air
Financial analysts warn that a sudden AI bubble collapse could vent billions of litres of pressurized hype into the global economy.
Business
Hurricane Simon Promoted To Executive Vice President Of Meteorological Disruption
Hurricane Simon earns a major corporate promotion after reaching Category 4 status off Mexico's Pacific coast.
Business
Tech Giants Issue AI Corporate Bonds Backed By Pure Unfiltered Hype
Tech giants issue AI corporate bonds backed by pure hype, promising massive returns based entirely on server noise and digital optimism.
Business
Tree Deposition Reveals Aggressive Real Estate Tactics Used by Local Flora
Court transcripts reveal that local flora intentionally target residential roofs to aggressively expand suburban territory.
Business
5 Demands In The UAW Union Victory Platform
Following a massive UAW union victory, labor leaders unveiled five bold new factory demands, including mandatory screaming breaks.
Business
World Trigger Vol 30 Tops Billboard Japan Book Hot 100 as Manga Destroys Music
World Trigger Vol 30 tops Billboard Japan Book Hot 100 as printed manga completely replaces recorded music on the national charts.
Business
Starlink Fears Drive Telecom Execs To Communicate Via Tin Cans
Intense Starlink fears force telecom executives to ditch cellular networks and communicate using tin cans tied to long pieces of string.
Business
Treasury Yields To Hit 6% If Treasury Department Swaps Cash For Raw Beef
Government officials confirm treasury yields could rise to 6% once the nation transitions to a beef-backed currency system.
Business
Failed AI IPO Recalled After Sudden Safety Risks Discovered
Regulators issue an urgent product recall for a failed AI IPO after its $30 billion valuation evaporated in 48 hours.
Business
Delta Air Lines Memo Demands Pilots Blow Harder Into Engines To Cut Fuel Costs
A leaked Delta Air Lines memo orders pilots to blow directly into jet engines to combat surging fuel costs and save the company's Q3 earnings.
Business
5 Smart People Opinions on the PERM Suspension of Tech Visas
Top experts weigh in on the confusing new PERM suspension affecting tech visas at Microsoft and other major firms.
Business
Tech Startups Are Basically Just Organized Crime, Founder Admits Under Oath
A tech founder admitted under oath that tech startups operate exactly like prison cartels, using venture capital as protection money.
Business
Aviation Industry Admits Flying Is Just Controlled Falling In Airport Strike Lawsuit
A court transcript from the airport strike lawsuit reveals a shocking truth: commercial airplanes only fly because passengers believe they can.
Business
Asian Shares Track Wall Street Into Literal Grand Canyon
Financial markets plunged into chaos as Asian shares track Wall Street off a steep Arizona cliff and directly into the Grand Canyon.
Business
Trillionaire Status Regained By Musk Thanks To New Luxury Oxygen Packages
SpaceX secures trillionaire status for its founder by charging wealthy orbital passengers for every single breath of premium oxygen.