SEATTLE—A federal courtroom became the stage for a shocking look into the retail industry. The Federal Trade Commission presented evidence of coordinated pricing. The focus centered on the early Prime Day deals designed to trap consumer wallets. Attorneys focused on how major tech brands manipulate holiday shopping timelines. The following transcript captures a tense exchange between prosecutors and a key industry witness.
PROSECUTOR: Mr. Flense, you oversaw the scheduling for these early Prime Day deals, correct?
WITNESS (Gordon Flense, Deputy Undersecretary for Things That Were Fine Before): Yes. We decided when the public would feel the urge to buy discounted electronics.
PROSECUTOR: And how did you determine that exact moment of vulnerability?
WITNESS: We monitored atmospheric pressure and general human sadness. When sadness peaks, we launch early Prime Day deals on wireless earbuds.
PROSECUTOR: So the discounts do not reflect manufacturing costs?
WITNESS: Of course not. A pair of headphones costs four cents to make. We price them at ninety-nine dollars to make people feel alive.
PROSECUTOR: You are suggesting the entire consumer tech cycle is artificial?
WITNESS: Naturally. We manufactured the need for the aluminum laptop. Your grandfather wrote his will on a piece of slate. He was fine. We told you that you need a faster chip to view recipe blogs. You believed us. We control the supply. We control the demand. The early Prime Day deals are just the bait in our global trap.
