CUPERTINO, CA—The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a voluntary recall of the theoretical stylus designed for the unreleased foldable iPhone. Regulators cited a major choking hazard. The hazard involves an invisible accessory. Users cannot see this accessory. Yet, it poses a direct threat to imaginary toddlers nationwide.
The Imaginary Hazard
The recall affects all concepts of the stylus. Developers designed these concepts for the foldable iPhone. "We found a critical design flaw," said Agnes Periwinkle, Head of Audience Sedation at Live Nation. Periwinkle assisted federal investigators on the safety panel. "The accessory does not physically exist. However, consumers might still try to swallow it. This creates a psychological blockage in the windpipe." The agency launched the probe after reading tech blogs like CNET. The blogs speculated wildly about the device.
Apple cooperated fully with the federal safety probe. The tech giant halted all daydreaming sessions in Cupertino. Designers had spent months visualizing the stylus. Now, those thoughts must be erased. The company agreed to delete all digital whiteboard sketches immediately.
Remedy And Compensation
Customers do not need to return physical items. Apple cannot accept physical returns for products that do not exist. Instead, the company offers a digital remedy. "We are issuing a firmware update to the user's imagination," said Arthur Pendelton, Deputy Director of the Federal Bureau of Hypothetical Goods. "This update will overwrite any memory of the foldable iPhone stylus. We advise consumers to stop thinking about the pen." Users can claim a virtual refund voucher. The voucher is valid only in the metaverse.
At press time, Apple engineers were already drafting a recall for the 2032 holographic iPad after a beta tester reported a simulated splinter.
