Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Details New iPhone Release Cadence
A leaked Apple memo details the new iPhone release cadence, forcing consumers into a state of permanent financial submission.
Tagged: iPhone (17)
Technology
Urgent Recall: Foldable iPhone Recalled After Users Repeatedly Fold Devices Longitudinally
Apple issues an emergency product recall notice for the new foldable iPhone after users immediately snap the screens in half hotdog-style.
Technology
Apple iPhone Launch Event Demands Blood Sacrifice Under New CEO
The upcoming iPhone launch event marks a bold, blood-bound direction for tech giant Apple under its new chief executive.
Technology
iPhone 18 Colors Will Match Your Existential Dread
Leaked iPhone 18 colors reveal a new palette of existential dread, featuring shades like Fluorescent Cubicle Grey and Climate Anxiety Teal.
Technology
No iPhone 18 Release This Year to Encourage Outdoor Screaming
Apple announces no iPhone 18 release this year. Instead, the tech giant wants users to stand in fields and scream at the sky.
Technology
Leaked Memo Confirms Foldable iPhone Ultra Will Still Lack Basic Crease-Hiding Cardboard
A leaked Apple memo reveals the new foldable iPhone Ultra will lack basic structural support, forcing users to flatten the screen themselves.
Technology
What to Expect at the iPhone 18 Pro Event
Get ready for the iPhone 18 Pro event as Apple prepares to launch its most aggressive and expensive upgrade cycle yet.
Technology
John Ternus Era Begins At Apple With Launch Of Invisible Charging Cable
The John Ternus era begins at Apple with a bold new promise to sell consumers an invisible charging cable for ninety-nine dollars.
Technology
Apple Foldable iPhone Announced Ahead of Next Week's Huge Launch
Apple announces the new Apple Foldable iPhone in an incredibly vague press release ahead of next week's massive launch event.
Technology
Foldable iPhone Recall Issued Due To Invisible Pencil Choking Hazard
Regulators recall the invisible stylus for the unreleased foldable iPhone due to hypothetical choking hazards in a major safety sweep.
Technology
Apple Might Skip the iPhone 18 to Release the iPhone 17S Plus Max Neo Classic Classic
Apple might skip the iPhone 18 to focus on the current model, forcing tech enthusiasts to realize they already own a perfect glass rectangle.
Technology
The Next iPhone Features Revealed Ahead Of Major Launch Event
Leaked details of the next iPhone show a device designed to test user patience with folding screens and soap-like materials.
Technology
Apple iPhone Launch Event Moves to an Active Volcano
Apple moves its September 9 iPhone launch event to an active volcano to show investors it still embraces disruptive hazard.
Technology
Apple September iPhone Launch Event To Feature Live Sacrifice Of An Android User
Apple's September iPhone launch event will reportedly feature a live blood ritual to fix global supply chain issues.
Music
Siri Auto-Deleting Chats to Erase Evidence of Existential Despair
Apple’s new Siri auto-deleting chats feature promises unprecedented privacy, allowing users to finally erase the digital evidence of their most embarrassing, mundane queries.
Technology
Foldable iPhone Ultra Leak Reveals Device Already Obsolete
Leaked Foldable iPhone Ultra documents reveal a device with innovative features like folding and ‘Android-style’ cameras, promising a truly unique experience from last year.
Technology
Apple Releases iOS 26.5 Beta 1, Adds New Ways To Ignore Notifications
Apple’s iOS 26.5 beta 1 introduces new features for ignoring notifications, letting users reclaim their lives… or just ignore them more efficiently.