World
Russian Power Grid Recalls Voltage Following Infrastructure Attack
The Kremlin issues an urgent product recall on billions of gigawatts deployed in the latest Russian power grid infrastructure attack.
Tagged: Kremlin (9)
World
Kremlin Hybrid Warfare Revealed to Be Complex Network of Spammed WhatsApp Groups
A leaked tribunal transcript shows the dreaded Kremlin hybrid warfare is just millions of spam WhatsApp messages.
Politics
Russian Election Results Recalled Over 103% Vote Totals
A formal product recall has been issued for the Russian election results after inspectors discovered vote totals exceeded 103% of the population.
World
Ukraine Fires Over 1,000 Drones Carrying Passive-Aggressive Notes
Ukraine fires over 1,000 drones carrying millions of tiny, highly laminated passive-aggressive notes into Russian territory.
Politics
Kremlin Veterans on the Ballot Sweepstakes Launched by Russian Election Officials
Russian officials put Kremlin veterans on the ballot to simplify voting. Voters can win prizes like cooking oil and bread vouchers.
Politics
Russian Parliamentary Election Recalled Due To Pre-Selected Results Error
Russia recalls its Russian parliamentary election after a glitch prints the final victory tallies three days before any votes were cast.
Politics
Russian Election Snoozefest Prompts Government to Introduce Mandatory Espresso Breaks
To combat the historic Russian election snoozefest, Moscow introduces mandatory espresso breaks and techno music to keep voters awake.
Politics
Kremlin Peace Envoys Memo Outlines Mandatory Smile Protocol
A leaked internal memo reveals the strict behavioral guidelines for Kremlin peace envoys during high-stakes negotiations.
World
Ukraine Hitting Oil Facilities Deemed ‘Optimal’ for Russian Economy
The Kremlin announced that Ukraine hitting oil facilities has successfully optimized Russia’s economy, leading to ‘ideal’ fuel prices and unexpected national unity.