Entertainment
DOJ Antitrust Probe Targets Networks Over TV Uniformity
A new DOJ antitrust probe targets major networks for secretly broadcasting the exact same show across every channel.
Tagged: Rusty Calhoun (11)
Politics
Latino Voters Swing Away From GOP After Campaign Replaces All Tacos With Sad Cornstarch Slurry
A Senate hearing reveals a consulting firm caused the historic Latino voters swing by replacing campaign food with flavorless cornstarch slurry.
Politics
Finland's PM Lost Because She Banned All Minor Chords
Court transcripts reveal Finland's PM lost her reelection because she banned sad minor chords to force national happiness.
World
Brazil Steak Election Divides Voters Over Sentimental Beef
The highly anticipated Brazil steak election takes a strange turn as voters accuse a prime cut of beef of political tax evasion.
Business
Nvidia's $279 Billion Bet Includes These 5 Absurd Investments
Nvidia's $279 Billion Bet targets green grass, lunar advertising, and subterranean magma servers.
Entertainment
Kennedy Center Court Transcript Reveals Whole Performing Arts Industry Is Held Together By Tape
A shocking court transcript reveals the performing arts industry is held together by tape, following the Kennedy Center ceiling collapse.
Business
Wall Street Shaky Start Normalized via Mandatory Trading Floor Screaming Matches
Badum Financial Group addresses the shaky start in markets by mandating daily screaming matches on the trading floor.
Business
Urgent Bond Yield Recall Notice Issued After Dangerous Spikes Inject Panic
A mandatory bond yield recall has been issued by federal regulators after sovereign debt units overheated, causing physical burns to global investors.
Politics
Finland's Sanna Marin Concedes Election in Leaked Memo Calling Democracy 'Too Loud'
A leaked memo reveals why Sanna Marin concedes election, blaming the high decibel levels of Finnish democracy.
Business
Nvidia Stock Valuation Deemed Uncomfortably Cheap
A leaked internal memo shows executives scrambling to fix the Nvidia stock valuation before the company looks too affordable to Wall Street.
Politics
Finland Election Loss Decided By PM's Unacceptable Silence On Moderate Bass
The devastating Finland election loss proves that voters demand immediate silence and a total ban on low-frequency subwoofers.