Music
Weezer Live Rarities Debuted On Tour To Confuse Casual Fans
Weezer live rarities dominate the setlist of the band's new Gathering tour, leaving thousands of casual concertgoers completely baffled.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Hayley Williams Cameo In Netflix Show Triggers Real-Life Goth Crisis
A surprise Hayley Williams cameo in Netflix's DANG! has sent shockwaves through the alternative music community.
Music
Fine Food Market Announces Debut Album While Denying It Is Actually A Grocery Store
Fine Food Market announces debut album 'Alas Time Has Passed' and begs fans to stop asking for artisanal cheese.
Music
Billboard R&B Award Winner Kehlani Demands Trophy Be Made of Actual Macaroni and Cheese
Kehlani accepted the Billboard R&B Award but demanded the trophy be replaced with a warm tray of baked macaroni and cheese.
Music
Cash Cobain Sample Sparks Global Shortage of Snap-Era Finger Muscles
A dangerous shortage of finger muscles hits fans trying to snap along to the new Cash Cobain track, 'Betcha Can't'.
Music
Jim Jarmusch Album Demanded by Sacred Crow, Memo Reveals
A leaked memo reveals Sacred Bones Records is releasing the new Jim Jarmusch album to appease a giant, talking crow living in their attic.
Music
Underage Rage Rap Duo recalled by FDA for structural ear damage
Regulators issue an urgent recall for the Underage Rage Rap Duo collab 'KickAss (Pull Up Pls)' due to extreme high-frequency hazards.
Music
Liars New Album Revealed As Elaborate Tax Loophole In Federal Court
A federal court transcript exposes the Liars new album as an elaborate corporate tax shelter and synthetic asset scheme.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Dress Commission Prevents Total Collapse of Global Textile Industry
A single Olivia Rodrigo dress commission has reportedly saved the global textile sector from complete financial ruin.
Music
Soul Glo New Album Sparking Panic In Federal Court Hearing
A federal court transcript reveals how the Soul Glo new album is causing panic among Wall Street analysts and streaming executives.
Music
Julien Baker Teases LP4 via Mandatory Corporate Sadness Training
Leaked Matador memo shows staff must cry as Julien Baker teases LP4 ahead of her secret Nashville popup.
Music
Deerhoof Announce New Album via Telepathic Broadcast to Neighborhood Dogs
Deerhoof announce new album 'Divine Schism' via telepathic broadcast to local dogs, bypassing all streaming platforms.
Music
The Avalanches Far Away Collabs Reach Critical Mass in Leaked Memo
A leaked corporate memo reveals the sheer logistical chaos behind the new single, The Avalanches Far Away collabs.
Music
Suno AI Music Models Spark Panic Among Coffeehouse Baristas
The new Suno AI music models promise to replicate indie singer-songwriters, leaving local baristas fearing for their creative monopoly.
Music
5 Ways to Pretend You Knew the Band Wishy Before Mona Lisa
Learn how to fake your indie credentials now that the breakout track Wishy "Mona Lisa" has ruined your favorite gatekept band.
Music
Bone Thugs Tour memo demands complete erasure of Layzie Bone from live shows
A leaked internal memo outlines strict rules for the Bone Thugs Tour, ordering crew to erase Layzie Bone from existence.
Music
Elton John Skyline Pigeon Deep Cut Leaves Gen Z Audiences Utterly Terrified
Gen Z fans at Rock in Rio panicked when the Elton John Skyline Pigeon deep cut brought 1960s harpsichord vibes to the main stage.
Music
EGOT Tracker Blueprint Leaks After Sabrina Carpenter and Bad Bunny Emmy Wins
A leaked memo outlines the aggressive strategy to rocket the EGOT tracker for Sabrina Carpenter and Bad Bunny following their Emmy wins.