Music
Kacey Musgraves Dolly Cover Sparks Five New Southern Religious Schisms
A Kacey Musgraves Dolly Cover of 'Here You Come Again' has officially split the Southern country music fandom into five separate religious sects.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Mac DeMarco Releases Four New Albums on Dusty CD-Rs
Indie icon Mac DeMarco releases four new albums on physical CD-R discs, forcing fans to find working car stereos.
Music
Ravyn Lenae Postpones Tour to Synergize Personal Vibration Metrics
R&B star Ravyn Lenae postpones tour dates to optimize her spiritual calendar and maximize corporate synergy.
Music
Interscope Memo Demands AZ Chike Dance Moves Meet Strict 2004 Standards
Leaked Interscope memo demands AZ Chike dance moves meet strict awkwardness standards for his new video with Tyler, the Creator.
Music
Floating Points Ballet Score Sparks Panic as Local Theater Accidentally Unlocks Hell
A new Floating Points ballet score about Pandora's box accidentally summons ancient demons during its London premiere.
Music
Bad Wolves Dolly Parton Cover Recalled Globally by Federal Authorities After Musical Hazard Level Orange
A federal product recall notice has been issued for the new Bad Wolves Dolly Parton cover due to severe acoustic hazards.
Music
Melinda French Gates Doubles Olivia Rodrigo Charity Fund to $20 Million
Philanthropist Melinda French Gates doubles the Olivia Rodrigo charity fund to $20 million to support teenage emotional infrastructure.
Music
Daisy Chain Fields Set Ruined After Karen O Suffers Yarn Meltdown
Leaked memos show a yarn crisis ruined the Daisy Chain Fields set after Karen O bailed on Olivia Rodrigo.
Music
Daisy Chain Fields Festival Sparks Corporate Synergy For Women's Rights
The Daisy Chain Fields festival raised $20 million, turning systemic gender inequality into a highly scalable, tax-deductible branding victory.
Music
Dolly Parton Billboard History Rewritten as Icon Dominates the 2020s Through Pure Magic
Dolly Parton Billboard history is rewritten as the country icon dominates the 2020s with more top 40 albums than ever.
Music
Young Thug Drops Slime Language 3 To Legally Outsource His Community Service Hours
Young Thug drops Slime Language 3 to legally delegate his court-mandated community service to guest stars Future and Veeze.
Music
K-pop Albums on Billboard 200 Face Audit After Suspect Bulk Shipping Discoveries
Court transcripts reveal the shocking truth behind K-pop albums on Billboard 200 charts and the millions of unplayed plastic CDs.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Sing 'Landslide' Duet With Stevie Nicks Causes Tectonic Shift
Watching Olivia Rodrigo sing 'Landslide' with Stevie Nicks at Daisy Chain Fields reportedly caused real seismic activity in California.
Music
Dinosaur Jr. Announce 2027 Tour Recalled Due to Extreme Decibel Hazards
Government regulators issue a recall after Dinosaur Jr. announce 2027 tour dates, citing extreme decibel hazards and structural risks.
Music
ICONIC HEART Sales Recall Issued After K-Pop Single Causes Structural Ear Damage
Regulators issue emergency recall of Hearts2Hearts' ICONIC HEART sales units due to a hazardous sonic frequency.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Silver Star Tickets Seat Locations Revealed to Be Inside of a Solid Brick Wall
Fans buying Olivia Rodrigo Silver Star tickets are finding their mystery seats located inside concrete pillars and ventilation shafts.
Music
Tom Hardy Bane Voice Dominates New Hip-Hop Album and Terrifies Audiences
The Tom Hardy Bane Voice returns to terrorize the rap world on a chaotic new Czarface collaborative album.
Music
Interscope Memo Demands More Olivia Rodrigo Alanis Morissette Duet Synergies
Leaked Interscope memo reveals corporate plans to monetize the Olivia Rodrigo Alanis Morissette duet for maximum generational angst.