Music
Leaked Internal Memo: Skaiwater New Album Forces Emergency Corporate Rebranding
A leaked corporate memo reveals Spotify is scrambling to update its vibe algorithms following the Skaiwater new album drop.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Lionel Richie Hospitalized After St. Louis Crowd Fails to Party Easy
Lionel Richie hospitalized in St. Louis after a local crowd failed to dance on the ceiling, causing severe physical exhaustion.
Music
Ariana Grande Cozy Footwear Policy Sparks Panic Among Arena Front Row Ticket Holders
A sudden Ariana Grande cozy footwear policy leaves fans outraged after the singer trades her signature high heels for supportive sandals.
Music
Historians Prove Dolly Parton Pop Music Was Actually Just Advanced Country Mind Control
New documents show Dolly Parton pop music was actually a highly advanced country music mind control experiment.
Music
John Travolta Punk Supergroup Debut Shocks Ramones Tribute
A brand new John Travolta punk supergroup debuted at the Ramones anniversary tribute, bringing disco hairspray to classic three-chord punk.
Music
Leeds Festival Witness Admits New Fontaines D.C. Track Caused Temporary Ego Death
A court transcript reveals the shocking emotional fallout after Fontaines D.C. debuted their new song "Happy For You" at Leeds Festival.
Music
Secretly Group Anniversary Sparked by 30 Years of Forged Signature Accusations
During the Secretly Group anniversary trial, executives admitted to signing major indie acts using fake raffles and Applebee's placemats.
Music
Canada-US Tensions Spark Urgent Concert Speeches from Iron Maiden and Christopher Cross
Iron Maiden and Christopher Cross spoke out against rising Canada-US tensions during their Toronto shows, pleading for bilateral trade peace.
Music
Iron Maiden 2026 Tour Setlist Features 17 Heavy Metal Songs About Administrative Scheduling
The Iron Maiden 2026 Tour kicked off with a terrifying 17-song setlist focused entirely on corporate office dread.
Music
Global Touring Map Exposed as Elaborate Kidnapping Scheme in Federal Court
A shocking court transcript reveals the dark truth behind how promoters keep Japan on the global touring map.
Music
Total Wife Remix Memo Warns of Dangerous Levels of Nashville Glitch
A leaked memo warns staff of the extreme audio hazards found on the upcoming Total Wife remix EP featuring TAGABOW.
Music
Nathan Fielder Concert Cameo Recalled After Causing Severe Audience Confusion
Regulators issue a recall on the Nathan Fielder concert cameo after a Vancouver show caused dangerous levels of audience confusion.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Daisy Chain Fields Festival Offers New Safety Features for Dads in the Back
The historic Olivia Rodrigo Daisy Chain Fields festival introduced new safety features to protect dads standing silently near the exit gates.
Music
David Fair Legacy Honored by Millions of Out-of-Tune Guitars
Musicians honor the David Fair legacy by collectively forgetting how to tune their instruments and ignoring all traditional music theory.
Music
MUTEK Montreal Magic Declared Safety Hazard by Live Nation Execs
An internal memo warns that the MUTEK Montreal magic is causing dangerous levels of joy, threatening venue water sales.
Music
Dazy MAXIMUMBLASTSUPERLOUD Vol. 2 Volume Setting Mandated in Internal Memo
A leaked corporate memo orders employees to play the new Dazy MAXIMUMBLASTSUPERLOUD Vol. 2 compilation at maximum volume to boost productivity.
Music
Ella Langley Record Recall Issued After Song Causes Acute Drake Infestation
A federal recall has been issued for the Ella Langley record 'Choosin' Texas' due to an imminent threat of an unapproved Drake remix.
Music
Kacey Musgraves Dolly Cover Sparks Five New Southern Religious Schisms
A Kacey Musgraves Dolly Cover of 'Here You Come Again' has officially split the Southern country music fandom into five separate religious sects.