Noah Kahan Has One Request: Hometown Now Marked By Cairn of Unpaid Parking Tickets
Noah Kahan Has One Request: stop stealing town signs. Strafford, VT, is now a mapless void as fans take every…
Ryan Beatty’s ‘Sweet Fortune’ Album Triggers Unstoppable Mass Serenity
Ryan Beatty Unveils Majestic New Album Sweet Fortune, causing widespread, inexplicable calm. Authorities urge…
Panel Unanimously Agrees: The 5 Best Songs Of The Week All Feature Whistling
A prestigious panel of music experts yesterday named The 5 Best Songs Of The Week. All selections shared one…
Finland’s PM Lost Due to Nation’s Sole Unanimous Opinion: The Font.
Finland's PM lost the election, not to policy debates, but to a universally reviled new national font. Voters…
Trump’s ’90s Music Festival Drowned by Rain, Vanilla Ice Only Survivor
The Trump 90s Festival, initially planned as a star-studded event, was reduced to just Vanilla Ice before a…
Wilco and Billy Bragg Finally Perform Mermaid Avenue Live, Mostly For Themselves
Wilco, Billy Bragg, and Natalie Merchant finally perform the Mermaid Avenue albums live, decades after release,…
Tom Hardy Resurrects Rap Persona For CZARFACE Album
Tom Hardy resurfaces as rapper Frankie Pulitzer for a CZARFACE album. Fans debate if his rap persona can still deliver.
Diles Que No Me Maten Album Sparks Existential Crisis
*Escrito En Agua* by Diles Que No Me Maten is causing listeners to question reality. The album’s complex sound…
Erykah Badu Announces Tour With Alchemist, Vows To ‘Ground The Astral Plane’
Erykah Badu is touring with The Alchemist, aiming to 'ground the astral plane' and realign chakras. Special…
Newsom’s Wealth Tax Push Leads to Personal Yard Sale
Governor reportedly trades his artisanal olive oil for a pack of instant ramen.