World
Spain's Housing Crisis Inspires Extreme Solutions
Politicians scramble to solve Spain's housing crisis with increasingly absurd proposals before the upcoming snap election.
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Music
Drake Grammys Boycott Reaches 2027 as Leaked Memo Reveals New Strategy
A leaked internal memo reveals the real, highly embarrassing reason behind the ongoing Drake Grammys boycott scheduled for 2027.
Politics
Red Dye Diesel Recalled After Turning Nation’s Minivans Into Megatrons
The EPA has issued an urgent recall for red dye diesel after the fuel caused commuter minivans to transform into hostile, sentient machines.
Music
Knifeplay Love Song Forces Philadelphia to Ban Public Displays of Sadness
The new Knifeplay Love Song has forced Philadelphia officials to outlaw crying in public after extreme shoegaze sadness gripped the city.
Business
Trillionaire Status Regained By Musk Thanks To New Luxury Oxygen Packages
SpaceX secures trillionaire status for its founder by charging wealthy orbital passengers for every single breath of premium oxygen.
Music
Choosin' Texas Remix Drops as Fans Demand Immediate Geographic Re-education
The Choosin' Texas remix by Drake and Don Toliver drops, sparking immediate geographical confusion among millions of streaming fans.
Politics
Spain Snap Election Declared to Determine Who Owns This Specific Sofa
A sudden snap election in Spain aims to resolve a tense national crisis over a disputed living room sofa.
Music
Metallica Las Vegas Monster Recalled After Escaping Sphere Screen
Regulators recall the Metallica Las Vegas monster after the 3D visual escaped the Sphere screen and fled into the Nevada desert.
World
Aviation Security Gaps Force Airlines to Hire Literal Geese
A series of major aviation security gaps has forced global airlines to replace human pilots with aggressive Canadian geese.
Music
Fontaines D.C. Plot 2027 Tour Across North America With Iceage
Post-punk icons Fontaines D.C. plot 2027 tour three years in advance to hedge against global inflation.
Music
French Oi Crew Squelette EP Recalled for Being Dangerously Cool
Regulators recall the French Oi Crew Squelette EP after listeners report sudden leather jacket growth and severe scowling.
Technology
OpenAI Declares Some Bad Things Will Build A Better Tomorrow
OpenAI announces that some bad things must happen to secure a brighter, more automated future for humanity.
Music
Turnstile SNL Debut Ruined After Taylor Swift Accidentally Swallows Bassist
The highly anticipated Turnstile SNL debut ended in chaos after Taylor Swift accidentally swallowed bassist Franz Lyons on live television.
Politics
FBI Arrests 5 Extremely Average Moms Suspected of Spying on Adult Sons
The FBI dismantled a massive domestic espionage ring of mothers accused of spying on adult sons to track their dental hygiene and laundry.
Music
Shakira Livestreaming Record Broken After Amazon Echoes Left on for Pets
A new Shakira livestreaming record was set after millions of Amazon Echo devices broadcast her Madrid concert to empty living rooms.
Technology
A New Wide Foldable Smart Bench Is Coming To Conquer San Francisco Parks
A new wide foldable smart bench is set to disrupt municipal seating and block entire city streets.
Politics
Latino Voters Swing Away From GOP After Campaign Replaces All Tacos With Sad Cornstarch Slurry
A Senate hearing reveals a consulting firm caused the historic Latino voters swing by replacing campaign food with flavorless cornstarch slurry.
Music
Tom Morello Vote Shock Waves Rock Non-Partisan Festival
A sudden Tom Morello vote controversy rocks the non-partisan Power To The People festival after the guitarist rejects corporate Democrats.