Ibeyi Announces New Album Offering, Will Feature Existential Dread
Ibeyi's new album Offering will feature the twins recording separately. They explore isolation and existential dread.
Strokes’ Valensi Hiatus Blamed on ‘Too Many Chords,’ Replacement Brings Laser-Focused Energy
The Strokes Announce Nick Valensi Hiatus due to his 'excessive' chord knowledge. His replacement debuted with…
Thucydides Trap Literally Ensnares Several Prominent Scholars
A literal Thucydides trap has reportedly ensnared several prominent academics, proving the ancient theory more…
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems "settled." Diplomats are…
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for Remix, Hopes to Absorb Youth Electronically
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for new remix, sparking speculation the pop icon is attempting to download youth directly…
Salem’s Red Dragon Album Drops, Fans Confused by Hospital Socks
Salem's new album Red Dragon dropped alongside a Supreme collection, baffling fans who mostly received grippy…
Korean Stocks Hit 8,000 Milestone, Immediately Plunge 6% As Investors Realize It’s Just A Number
Korean stocks hit a record 8,000 points, then plunged 6% as foreigners sold off, proving that round numbers are…
Dell Debuts 16-Inch Laptop, Promises Users Won’t Notice 120 Hz OLED Display
Dell's new 16-inch laptop boasts a 120 Hz OLED display and Intel Panther Lake. The company hopes it distracts…
Drake Finally Unveils ‘Iceman,’ Releases 2 Surprise Albums
Drake surprise-drops ‘Iceman,’ ‘Habibti,’ and ‘Maid Of Honour.’ Fans are overwhelmed by the triple album…
Drake Reveals Dad Has Cancer, Offers Him Ride To Chemo
Album also features Drake driving himself to dealer for new rims.