Politics
Maine Senate Debate Moderated Entirely By Angry Seagulls
The first Maine Senate debate took a wild turn when a panel of angry seagulls took over the microphones.
Latest · page 25
Music
Council Debut Album Announced to Force Listeners Into Infinite Temporal Loop
The Council debut album by Gabriel Kahane and Pekka Kuusisto reportedly traps listeners in an inescapable, polite 24-hour time loop.
Politics
Israel Outsources Blame to Consulting Firm for Faster Bureaucracy
Israel outsources blame to consultants to streamline political finger-pointing and bureaucratic evasion.
Music
Feds Issue Shane Butler Debut Warning Following Unannounced Psych-Folk Launch
Regulators recall the Shane Butler debut single 'Ringfinger' over high levels of nostalgia and dangerous New England psych-folk frequencies.
Technology
Better Together features banned from Samsung devices in secret Google memo
Leaked Google memo reveals the 'Better Together' features are intentionally blocked on Samsung phones to drive users to buy Pixel devices.
Music
Queen Avatar Show Halted After Brian May Accuses Digital Double of Siphoning Hair Volume
Brian May fights his own digital double in court, claiming the Queen avatar show stole his signature hair volume to power its AI.
Technology
Apple Smart Home Hub Features 5 Demands It Wants Met Immediately
The new Apple smart home hub is holding families hostage until they agree to a bizarre list of demands.
Music
Teens In Trouble 'I Do' Single Sparks Global Passive-Aggressive Outbreak
The new Teens In Trouble 'I Do' single is causing a global epidemic of passive-aggressive sighs and sudden, relatable mood swings.
Business
Asian Shares Track Wall Street Into Literal Grand Canyon
Financial markets plunged into chaos as Asian shares track Wall Street off a steep Arizona cliff and directly into the Grand Canyon.
Music
Metallica Sphere Setlist Features No Heavy Metal or Electric Instruments on Night Two
The second Metallica Sphere setlist shocked fans in Las Vegas with an all-acoustic polka set featuring no electric instruments.
Technology
OpenAI Changes Systems To Feed Future Australian Hackers Better Data
Tech giant OpenAI changes systems to ensure future Australian hackers receive better formatted data.
Music
The Dead Daisies Recipient of Foreigner Singer Kelly Hansen in Direct Mail Campaign
The Dead Daisies receive singer Kelly Hansen in a cardboard shipping tube, announcing a 2027 tour and new single.
Politics
Democrats' Advantage Clear in Leaked Memo Outlining Plan to Relocate Kentucky
A leaked memo reveals that the Democrats' advantage is clear after plans surfaced to physically drag Kentucky thirty miles north.
Music
Slayyyter Announces Brother Album to Iconic 2026 Pop Record
Slayyyter is ready to release her new brother album, Wor$t Man in America, featuring nine aggressive new electronic tracks.
Technology
6 AI Image Generation Ads That Will Ruin Your Creative Flow
OpenAI introduces AI image generation ads that will put commercial billboards inside your deepest digital fantasies.
Music
Phil Collins Fat People Song Revealed in Court Deposition
A court transcript reveals details about the Phil Collins fat people song, a controversial unreleased track aimed at American culture.
World
Spain's Housing Crisis Inspires Extreme Solutions
Politicians scramble to solve Spain's housing crisis with increasingly absurd proposals before the upcoming snap election.
Music
Drake Grammys Boycott Reaches 2027 as Leaked Memo Reveals New Strategy
A leaked internal memo reveals the real, highly embarrassing reason behind the ongoing Drake Grammys boycott scheduled for 2027.