Politics
Beijing Fight Back Strategy Includes Aggressive Silent Treatment For US
The new Beijing fight back plan relies heavily on sighing loudly and leaving US diplomats on read.
Tagged: Diplomacy (30)
World
European Diplomats Deployed to West Bank Receive Mandatory High-Visibility Helmets
European diplomats in the West Bank receive mandatory high-visibility helmets and tactical neon vests after recent field altercations.
Politics
Leaked Memo Shows EU Sanctions Running Out Of Russian Entities To Target
A leaked memo reveals EU sanctions officials are running out of Russian targets after adding 1,600 new entities to economic blacklists.
Politics
Transcript Proves Peace Talks Are Driven By Pure Spite
Court transcripts reveal peace talks are driven entirely by personal grudges and minor office rivalries rather than diplomacy.
Politics
Internal Memo Demands Ukraine Get a New President to Support Fuel Trades
Leaked internal memo reveals demands that Ukraine should get a new president to clear the way for international fuel trade deals.
Politics
Trump-Putin Fuel Deal Brokered Over Shared Love Of Unregulated Diesel
Peace talks stalled after a secret Trump-Putin fuel deal prioritized tractor lubricant over international diplomacy.
Politics
Trump Diesel Deal Prompts World Leaders to Trade Random Global Resources
World leaders trade random global resources following the chaotic Trump diesel deal.
Politics
Leaked Memo Reveals Strategy to Erase Norway Over Nobel Peace Prize Snub
A leaked memo outlines corporate plans to erase Norway from maps and public records following a high-profile award snub.
World
Eritrean Border Dispute Settled by Intense Game of Musical Chairs
A regional Eritrean border dispute is resolved after generals agree to a tense, high-stakes game of musical chairs.
Politics
Beijing promises to fight back with incredibly polite sternly worded emails
Beijing promises to fight back against diplomatic visits by upgrading to a premium Mailchimp account for passive-aggressive emails.
Politics
Abu Dhabi Protocol Memo Outlines Elaborate Cover Story For Netanyahu Visit
A leaked internal memo from Abu Dhabi reveals the absurd protocols used to hide the highly sensitive Netanyahu visit from the public eye.
Politics
Trump-Xi State Visit Paused As Leaders Get Stuck In Giant Panda Suit
The Trump-Xi state visit ground to a halt after the two world leaders became trapped inside a giant panda costume.
Politics
White House Menu leaked for Trump's state dinner with Xi Jinping
Leaked memo reveals the official state dinner menu features a curated tower of fast food nuggets to impress foreign diplomats.
Politics
Airport Welcome Protocol Recalled Due To Choking Hazard During Xi Jinping Visit
Regulators recall the airport welcome protocol due to safety hazards during the Xi Jinping summit.
World
World Leaders Convene to Complain About Group Project
Frustrated world leaders convened to complain about their group project, accusing each other of failing to do any of the research.
Politics
UN General Assembly Relies On Paid Seat Fillers To Prevent Empty Hall
An official inquiry reveals the UN General Assembly uses paid seat fillers to keep the main hall looking full during boring diplomatic speeches.
World
Mideast Diplomatic Talks Recalled Due To Severe Logistics Malfunction
Regulators issue an urgent product recall notice for mideast diplomatic talks after a severe logistics failure in the Gulf region.
Politics
Beijing Fight Back Protocol Unleashes Global Sadness Initiative
China launches its Beijing fight back protocol, replacing military threats with intense, state-sponsored emotional exhaustion.