Music
New Calla Album Sparks Corporate Panic Over Return of 2005 Indie Moodiness
Leaked memo reveals tech giant's panic over the new Calla album, warning it could trigger a mass wave of 2005 indie rock sadness.
Tagged: Music Industry (379)
Music
Paris Paloma Deposition Reveals Industry Plot to Ban Deep Emotions
Leaked court transcripts show executives tried to ban deep emotions, forcing Paris Paloma to fight for her right to write sad songs.
Music
Alanis Morissette Joins Brandi Carlile To Form Supreme Folk-Rock Tribunal
Leaked memo reveals plans for when Alanis Morissette joins Brandi Carlile, merging 90s angst with modern Americana.
Music
Justin Bieber Anniversary Sparked by Secret Government Clone Exchange Program, Deposition Reveals
Leaked court transcripts show the recent Justin Bieber anniversary was actually a corporate clone exchange program.
Music
The Fray Tour Sparks Antitrust Probe Into Nostalgia Cartel
The Fray tour with Dashboard Confessional faces an antitrust probe for allegedly monopolizing the global supply of 2007 millennial sadness.
Music
My Chemical Romance Album Leak Reveals Band Must First Complete Emotional Boot Camp
A leaked Warner Records memo reveals the extreme emotional boot camp required for the new My Chemical Romance album.
Music
Consequence Concert Apparel Debated in Supreme Court Intellectual Property Case
A Supreme Court transcript reveals the legal battle over Consequence concert apparel and its appeal to the front row diaper-wearer.
Music
Samsung Lawsuit Transcript Reveals Company Thinks Dua Lipa Is Just a Generic Box Model
A bizarre transcript from the Samsung lawsuit shows the tech giant claiming they thought Dua Lipa was just a default CGI template.
Music
Charli XCX Tour Exposed as Shell Company for Illegal Leather Trade in Court
A federal transcript reveals the Charli XCX tour is actually a massive front for smuggling illegal lime-green vinyl and oversized sunglasses.
Music
Lady Gaga Literally Mother Status Sparks Interoffice Panic at Interscope Records
Leaked Interscope memo reveals panic after Lady Gaga literally mother transition. Executives scramble to market actual maternity to confused pop stans.
Music
Stray Kids Rock in Rio Debut Sparks Massive Class Action Lawsuit Over Global Screaming Shortage
A court transcript reveals how the Stray Kids Rock in Rio debut depleted the world's screaming reserves, sparking a major antitrust lawsuit.
Music
Kendrick Lamar Joins Jhené Aiko on New Song “So Good” During Federal Antitrust Hearing
Kendrick Lamar joins Jhené Aiko on new song “So Good” during a shocking federal antitrust deposition in Los Angeles.
Music
Kohti Tuhoa Song Recalled Due to Excessive Adrenaline Hazard
A federal recall has been issued for the new Kohti Tuhoa song due to extreme adrenaline hazards and spontaneous drywall destruction.
Music
Villano Antillano Exiles Herself After Island’s Machinery Demands More Reggaeton Shaking
Court transcripts reveal the state-enforced machinery that forced Puerto Rican trans rapper Villano Antillano to flee her home island.
Music
Billboard R&B Artist Honor Celebrated in Corporate Press Release
A corporate press release celebrates the Billboard R&B Artist honor by highlighting executive synergy and brand metrics.
Music
Federal Recall Issued for Ganser Futuretripping Single Over Chronic Temporal Displacement
A federal recall warns that the new Ganser Futuretripping single causes spontaneous time travel and severe chronological disorientation.
Music
Country Grief Anthems Reach Quarter-Century Mark of Pure, Unfiltered Acoustic Traumatic Stress
A look back at the country grief anthems that helped us heal, or at least buy a lot of flags.
Music
Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock Album Delayed Due to Simon Says Rules
The Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock rollout halts as listeners take the new single 'Simon Says' too literally.