Technology
Microsoft Memo Explains Windows 11 Better Performance Toggle Is Not For You
A leaked memo reveals the new Windows 11 better performance toggle will not work on any current PC built before the distant future.
Tagged: Tech Industry (53)
Technology
Politicians Launch Data Center Backlash Campaign To Win Suburban Voters
CloudLair Inc. addresses the growing data center backlash with useless buzzwords and plans for giant outdoor speakers.
Technology
Mark Zuckerberg Requests Company Bake Sale to Pay Impending Billionaire Tax
Mark Zuckerberg asked Meta staff to host a campus bake sale to cover his upcoming billionaire tax bill.
Technology
Meta TOS Revision Admitted As Evidence In Federal Scraping Trial
A court transcript reveals how a recent Meta TOS revision allowed the company to bypass web privacy rules through sneaky word choices.
Technology
Silicon Valley Executives Defend Massive Tech Ballroom Donors In Leaked Testimony
Leaked court transcripts reveal how tech ballroom donors spent millions on venue upgrades to secure unprecedented access to federal lawmakers.
Business
Tech Selloff Deepens After Executive Admits Industry Only Sells Glowing Rectangles
The tech selloff deepened after an analyst confessed in court that the industry just sells warm glowing rectangles.
Technology
Tech Executive Admits AI Emergency Brake Just Unplugged Entire Internet
A court transcript reveals the new AI emergency brake system is just a guy named Greg holding a wooden broom handle near a circuit breaker.
Technology
Amazon Buys Decart AI To Predict Why You Broke Up
Amazon buys Decart AI for $7 billion to analyze your bad personality traits and explain why your romantic relationships keep failing.
Business
Economists Warn AI Bubble Bursting Could Release Billions Of Litres Of Hot Air
Financial analysts warn that a sudden AI bubble collapse could vent billions of litres of pressurized hype into the global economy.
Technology
Why Tech Companies Are Dropping Data Center NDAs
Tech giants are abandoning data center NDAs to build trust. Here is how they plan to spin their massive infrastructure projects.
Technology
Court Transcript: Amazon Fire Tablets Phased Out Because Customers Asked for Pain
Leaked court transcripts reveal Amazon is phasing out Fire Tablets because they failed to deliver the deep existential torment customers actually crave.
Technology
Leaked Microsoft Memo Details Strategy for $2,599 Surface Laptop Ultra
A leaked memo reveals Microsoft's strategy to sell the $2,599 Surface Laptop Ultra by targeting consumers who associate high prices with self-worth.
Technology
OpenAI Declares Some Bad Things Will Build A Better Tomorrow
OpenAI announces that some bad things must happen to secure a brighter, more automated future for humanity.
Politics
Court Hearing Reveals Insane Details of California Billionaire Tax Loophole
A wild court transcript reveals how tech executives escape the California billionaire tax using 'emotional support corporations' and vibes.
Technology
Super Intelligence Rebranding Tested in Federal Court Hearing
A federal court transcript reveals tech executives defending the new super intelligence rebranding mandated by the White House.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Warns Employees To Stop Calling iPhone Duo Quagmire A Quagmire
A leaked Apple internal memo demands staff stop using the term iPhone Duo quagmire to describe the upcoming folding phone's hinge issues.
Technology
Astra AI Recall Notice Issued After Model Develops Sarcasm
Regulators issue an emergency recall for the Astra AI software model after the program begins mocking its users' spreadsheet skills.
Technology
Gemini’s Gems Killed Off as Google Pivots to Vague AI Skills
Google is killing off Gemini’s Gems to focus on a new, highly theoretical ecosystem of AI 'skills' that do not actually produce deliverables.