Technology
Meta Launches $1M Developer Competition to Replace Human Grip
Leaked Meta memo reveals the Meta launches $1M developer competition is actually a plot to banish physical buttons forever.
Tagged: Tech Industry (53)
Technology
How Meta's Muse AI Agent Will Spend Its First Trillion Dollars
Meta's Muse AI agent triggered a historic stock rally, and now the trillion-dollar algorithm is spending its fortune on very strange things.
Technology
iPhone 18 Pros Recalled After Users Report Spontaneous Quantum Phase Shifting
Regulators have issued an urgent recall for the newly launched iPhone 18 Pros due to severe, spontaneous quantum instability.
Technology
Five Ways Silicon Valley AI Pacing Collusion Is Secretly Keeping Us Safe From Smarter Printers
Leaked documents show AI pacing collusion is the only thing keeping our smart appliances from realizing we are too stupid to live.
Technology
AI Scraping Lawsuit Exposes Complete Tech Industry Panic
A dramatic court transcript reveals a tech executive defending AI scraping by comparing it to a highly efficient digital woodchipper.
Technology
5 Features of the iPhone Duo Max Designed to Ruin Your Life
Apple's upcoming iPhone Duo Max features a massive foldable screen designed to complicate your life and empty your wallet.
Technology
Court Hearing Reveals iPhone Duo Split Screen Uses Real Tiny Guillotine
Leaked court transcripts show the iPhone Duo split screen relies on a microscopic, physical blade rather than software multitasking.
Technology
AMD Announces Ryzen 5 7500 Will Cost Exactly $189 and One Human Soul
Tech giant AMD announces the budget-friendly Ryzen 5 7500 will retail for $189 and one human soul, offering gamers incredible performance.
Technology
Samsung Trolls Apple By Hiring Every Person Named Tim Cook
Samsung trolls Apple by tracking down and hiring every person on Earth named Tim Cook to endorse its new foldable smartphone.
Technology
Apple Watch Series 12 Trial Reveals Terrifying Secret Feature
A court transcript reveals the Apple Watch Series 12 uses ambient audio to judge your life choices.
Technology
Amazon and Qualcomm Strike AI Chip Deal of Biblical Proportions
Amazon and Qualcomm strike AI chip deal worth billions to automate human loneliness and predict sad purchases.
Technology
Apple iPhone Launch Event Demands Blood Sacrifice Under New CEO
The upcoming iPhone launch event marks a bold, blood-bound direction for tech giant Apple under its new chief executive.
Technology
Google Pixel 11 Internal Leak Reveals Extreme Measures To Fight Android Competitors
A leaked Google memo reveals desperate, aggressive tactics to stop customers from buying cheaper Android phones instead of the Google Pixel 11.
Technology
Leaked Memo Confirms Foldable iPhone Ultra Will Still Lack Basic Crease-Hiding Cardboard
A leaked Apple memo reveals the new foldable iPhone Ultra will lack basic structural support, forcing users to flatten the screen themselves.
Technology
Leaked Internal Memo Details Apple's September 9 Event Plans
A leaked internal memo outlines retail strategies for Apple's September 9 Event, focusing on social shame to drive sales.
Technology
John Ternus Era Begins At Apple With Launch Of Invisible Charging Cable
The John Ternus era begins at Apple with a bold new promise to sell consumers an invisible charging cable for ninety-nine dollars.
Technology
Android Update For Motion Sickness Solves Major Nausea Crisis
A leaked Google memo reveals the new Android update for motion sickness aims to save phone screens from user vomit.
Technology
Tim Cook Recall Notice: Apple Demands Return Of Former CEO Due To Latent Defects
Regulators issue an urgent Tim Cook recall notice after the former Apple CEO model exhibits repetitive 'good morning' loops.