Music
Urbano Stars Pivot to Mexican Music to Avoid Federal RICO Charges, Court Documents Reveal
Court transcripts reveal reggaeton stars adopt Mexican music to avoid federal conspiracy charges and hide royalties.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
U.S. Government Issues Fleetwood Mac Documentary Recall Over Severe Drama Hazard
Federal regulators issued an urgent Fleetwood Mac documentary recall due to extreme levels of lingering band drama that pose a safety hazard.
Music
Westside Gunn Announces New Album Heelmatic Featuring Pyramids And Camels
Westside Gunn announces new album Heelmatic with a wild music video shot entirely on a camel near the Great Pyramids.
Music
Amy Winehouse Tribute Concert Triggers London Fog of Pure Unfiltered Heartbreak
An all-star Amy Winehouse tribute concert in London created a localized microclimate of pure heartbreak, shattering local barometers.
Music
Product Recall: Hilary Duff Holiday Things EP Causes Uncontrolled Festive Tremors
Regulators issued a safety recall for the Hilary Duff Holiday Things EP due to severe risks of premature holiday chaos and involuntary gift wrapping.
Music
Martin Garrix Spanish Song Features 6 Ways EDM DJs Pivot to Pop
A preview of the first Martin Garrix Spanish song proves EDM producers will try anything to dominate Latin music charts.
Music
The Top Grossing Latin Tours That Drained Stadium Power Grids
A look at the top grossing Latin tours that shattered ticket records and melted local electrical grids across North America.
Music
Latin Music Managers Panel Transcript Leaks Industry Sorcery Secrets
Leaked court documents from the Latin music managers panel reveal executives using dark magic and illegal blood pacts to top the charts.
Music
Noodles Health Issue Forces Guitarist Off Tour to Focus on Complete Molecular Restructuring
A serious Noodles health issue has forced The Offspring guitarist off the road to undergo full molecular restructuring.
Music
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Album Burned Onto Blank CD-Rs For 2027 Tour
Indie icons Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album burned onto 50000 blank CDRs by hand for their upcoming 2027 anniversary tour.
Music
Product Recall Issued for Ultra-Smooth Snoh Aalegra Track Due to Severe Melt Risk
Regulators issued an urgent recall for the Snoh Aalegra track after excessive smoothness caused household furniture to melt instantly.
Music
Talking Heads Reunite to Publish New Coffee-Table Book
The Talking Heads reuniting for a massive coffee-table book proves art-punk feuds are no match for expensive print publishing.
Music
Internal Memo Orders Staff to Scrub Rubén Blades History From Fania Records Servers
Leaked corporate memo details strict orders to scrub Rubén Blades history of all political meaning to appease streaming algorithms.
Music
Chappell Roan Guest Appearance Shocks Executives Who Forgot Pop Existed Before 2024
A historic Chappell Roan guest appearance with Christina Aguilera stuns pop executives who forgot music existed before 2024.
Music
Yung Miami Tracklist Leaks via Panicked Corporate Memo
An internal corporate memo reveals panic over the Yung Miami tracklist and its massive lineup of guest features.
Music
Product Recall Issued for Yung Miami Watch Dis Album Units Due to Volatility
A formal product recall notice urges listeners to delete the Yung Miami Watch Dis album due to severe speaker damage risks.
Music
Doug Dulgarian Cancer Diagnosis Caused By Listening To Too Much Shoegaze
Doctors confirm the Doug Dulgarian cancer diagnosis came from severe fuzz pedal exposure during recent recording sessions.
Music
JAY-Z Halftime Show Booking Confirmed After Mogul Considers Hiring Self
A leaked memo confirms the JAY-Z Halftime Show after the Roc Nation founder successfully auditioned for himself.