Music
Dahi Releases How to Pray But Fans Demand Refund Over Lack of Holy Water
Dahi Releases How to Pray but listeners complain the Kendrick Lamar collab lacks physical miracles.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Beyoncé B’Day Deluxe Box Set Includes Jar of Actual Honey Bee Venom
The new Beyoncé B’Day deluxe box set includes a jar of live bees, forcing fans to survive the physical media experience.
Music
Jennie Fallen Angel EP Recalled Globally for Hazardous Levels of Unregulated Emo
Regulators issue an urgent recall for the Jennie Fallen Angel EP due to hazardous levels of unregulated gothic despair and emotional risk.
Music
Katseye Drops Out After Member Sprains Ankle During High-Stakes Red Light Green Light Match
Tragedy strikes as Katseye drops out of the Daisy Chain Fields Festival following a playground injury.
Music
Zara Larsson Grammy Eligibility Revoked After Academy Discovers She Exists
The Recording Academy confirms Zara Larsson Grammy eligibility is void because she has been a famous pop star for over ten years.
Music
5 Signs That The Drin Prophets Of Doom Is Actually About Your Landlord
Local renters discover that The Drin Prophets Of Doom is actually a highly detailed complaint about their security deposit.
Music
Jelly Roll Florida Panhandle Ban Imposed After First Political Comments
A federal court transcript reveals the aftermath of Jelly Roll's first political comments, resulting in a ban from the Florida Panhandle.
Music
KATSEYE Members Recalled by Federal Regulators After String of Structural Malfunctions
Federal regulators issue a mandatory recall of KATSEYE units following ankle structural failures before Daisy Chain Fields.
Music
Stella Lefty's Personality Vacuum Declared a Hazardous Material by Label Execs
An internal memo warns staff that Stella Lefty's Personality Vacuum poses a threat to brand stability.
Music
Raising Hell Anniversary Hearing Exposes Secret 1986 Rap Tax
A congressional hearing on the Raising Hell anniversary reveals a massive 1986 conspiracy involving sneakers and secret rock subsidies.
Music
Nelly Furtado Rebound Recalled by Feds After Causing Nostalgia Overload
The federal government has issued a mandatory safety recall on the 2006 Nelly Furtado rebound due to dangerous levels of nostalgia.
Music
Blake Whiten Stadium Tour Proves Algorithm Made the Right Choice
The Blake Whiten stadium tour officially kicks off after the country singer scored a viral Hot 100 hit with 'Bet on That.'
Music
Selena Gomez Lawsuit Sparks Debate Over 'Chief Influencer Officer' Job Duties
The Selena Gomez lawsuit escalates as lawyers argue her corporate duties were completed entirely through spiritual alignment.
Music
Westside Cowboy Debut Recalled by Feds for Excessive Dust Danger
The Westside Cowboy debut album, 'It Goes On,' has been recalled by federal regulators due to dangerous levels of prairie dust emissions.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Baja Blast Recalled After Causing Teenagers to Experience 2004 Prom Drama
Regulators recalled the Olivia Rodrigo Baja Blast after the drink caused Gen Z teens to experience severe bouts of 2004 high school angst.
Music
Jasper Llewellyn Shares Debut Solo Single To Educate Unruly Children
Jasper Llewellyn shares debut solo single 'For The Teacher' to help educators control unruly classrooms with experimental post-rock.
Music
Detailed Kids Music Recalled After Toddlers Develop Existential Dread
Regulators recall detailed kids music from Ms. Rachel and Mr. Aron after toddlers experience severe existential dread from complex chords.
Music
Erykah Badu Album Released Early to Subpoenaed Jurors After Doomsday Lawsuit
A federal court transcript reveals how the new Erykah Badu album 'Before the World Blows' was distributed entirely via judicial subpoenas.