Music
Drone Metal Priest Memo Outlines Strategy for Live Set Amid Backlash
Leaked memo reveals PR strategy to spin the drone metal priest controversies into avant-garde performance art before his live debut.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Joe Glass It’s No Wonder Memo Orders 10,000% Increase In Lo-Fi Hiss
A leaked Perennial Records memo demands engineers ruin the audio quality of the new Joe Glass It’s No Wonder reissue for maximum indie credibility.
Music
Michael Nau Announces New Album 'Popfly' and Confirms It is Just Sounds of Baseball Dropping
Michael Nau announces new album Popfly, which features zero guitars and several concussions.
Music
untitled (halo) Debut Album Announced Alongside Corporate Synergy Initiative
The upcoming untitled (halo) debut album combines shoegaze with luxury rap to satisfy global corporate synergy metrics.
Music
Boy Harsher Track Recalled by Federal Regulators After Causing Acute Melancholy
Federal regulators issue an urgent safety recall for the new Boy Harsher track due to extreme risks of sudden, uncontrollable brooding.
Music
William Basinski Deposition Reveals Composer Sells Sad Loops To CIA
A shocking court transcript links the new album Passing The Cup Of Sorrows to government psychological operations.
Music
Dolly Parton’s 'Stairway to Heaven' Cover Legally Replaces Original Recording
A legal ruling declares Dolly Parton’s 'Stairway to Heaven' cover the official version, leaving Led Zeppelin in the dust.
Music
Charley Crockett Twin Temple Controversy Sparks Federal Recall of Country Music Concerts
Federal regulators issue a recall over the Charley Crockett Twin Temple controversy, citing high risks of aesthetic and theological friction.
Music
Dolly Parton Tributes Clogged by Celebs Demanding Her Butterfly Recipe
Celebrity Dolly Parton tributes descend into chaos as stars demand her secret butterfly pastry recipe.
Music
Dawn Richard chuuuuurch Lawsuit Reveals Secret Church-Tax Loophole
A leaked court transcript reveals how the Dawn Richard chuuuuurch single exploits a massive tax loophole using extra vowels.
Music
5 Facts About the New Sylvan Esso Song That Will Loop Forever
Discover 5 mind-bending facts about the new Sylvan Esso Song that has listeners trapped in a beautiful, infinite indie-pop loop.
Music
Dexter Story Album Promo Strategy Deemed Too High-Concept by Label
Leaked memo shows label executives desperately trying to simplify the new Dexter Story album promo by removing all traces of musical talent.
Music
Dolly Parton Dead At 80 Conspiracy Trial Transcript Reveals Secret AI Clones
A leaked court transcript regarding Dolly Parton dead at 80 reveals music executives planned to replace the beloved singer with robotic clones.
Music
Eminem Parton Connection Prompts Urgent Corporate Synergies at Interscope
Leaked memo reveals Interscope's plan to monetize the Eminem Parton connection with mashups and rhinestone hoodies.
Music
KPop Demon Hunters Soundtrack Sets Record Despite Having No Actual Songs
The hit KPop Demon Hunters soundtrack makes history by topping the Billboard charts for 58 weeks straight without containing any actual music.
Music
Taylor Swift's Radio Hegemony Sparked Federal Antitrust Hearing on Capital Hill
A Senate subcommittee investigates how Taylor Swift's radio hegemony seized 98% of all American FM broadcast bandwidth with her latest single.
Music
The Game Drake Verse Trial Transcript Reveals Rapper Protected West Coast From Mild Canadian Drafts
Court documents show the legendary The Game Drake verse was cut from the album 'No Brakes' to protect California from Canadian weather fronts.
Music
Resavoir New Album Leak Confirmed as Part of Secret FAA Weather Scheme
Leaked memo reveals the Resavoir new album 'Above the Clouds' is actually an FAA weather control project.