Music
Finland’s PM Lost Due to Nation’s Shared Disdain for Avocado Toast
Finland’s PM lost her re-election bid, not over policy, but due to a widespread national aversion to her perceived love for avocado toast, analysts confirm.
Section
Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Bruce Springsteen Joined By Kenny Chesney, Dropkick Murphys For ‘Music America’ Set
Bruce Springsteen surprised attendees at ‘Music America’ with Kenny Chesney and Dropkick Murphys. He also performed ‘Deportee’ with Rosanne Cash, calling it timely.
Music
Critics Award 5 Best Songs Of The Week To Same Five Songs
Critics confirmed the 5 Best Songs Of The Week were the same five songs selected last week. A new record for musical agreement.
Music
Floating Points Announces New Album ‘Mere Mortals’ to Accompany New Ballet
Floating Points’ new album ‘Mere Mortals’ will soundtrack a ballet. The electronic artist aims to bring his signature sound to the dance world.
Music
The Cure Break Out Live Rarities At Primavera Sound 2026, Stun Fans
The Cure played deep cuts and live rarities at Primavera Sound 2026, baffling some fans and thrilling others.
Music
Phoebe Bridgers Tour Will Attempt To Recreate Stadium Atmosphere In Small Rooms
Phoebe Bridgers’ new tour will play small venues, aiming for intimacy. Fans are preparing for emotional performances and existential contemplation.
Music
Afghan Whigs Take Soft Control, Threaten Mild Discomfort
The Afghan Whigs return with ‘How Do You Call It?’, a new album mastering their signature soft control and promising mild discomfort. A tour follows.
Music
Phoebe Bridgers Announces Phone-Free 2026 Arena Tour: ‘See You In Person!’
Phoebe Bridgers announced her phone-free 2026 Arena Tour. Fans must store devices. The goal is genuine connection, not online documentation.
Music
Fuming Mouth Announce New Album, Fans Brace for Inner Ear Revolutions
The death metal band promises ‘A Blaze of Nihilism’ will redefine the sensation of persistent cranial vibrations.
Music
Freddie Gibbs Releases You Only Die 1nce Deluxe, Proving You Can Die Twice
Freddie Gibbs proves you only die 1nce with the deluxe edition of You Only Die 1nce. The rapper reanimated his album with new songs.
Music
Debbii Dawson’s ‘Kool Aid’ Track Turns Local Ponds Cherry Red
Debbii Dawson’s new single “Kool Aid” is causing a literal splash. Local water sources are turning cherry-red, baffling scientists and delighting neighborhood children.
Music
Osees Surprise-Release New Album, Fans Already Overwhelmed
Osees surprise-released their new album Off Course, pushing listeners to the brink of musical comprehension and existing playlists.
Music
HNTR Follows Viral Remix With Juicy J Collab, Proves Talent Isn’t Entirely Random
HNTR, creator of the viral “Baby Shark” remix, teams up with Juicy J. The producer hopes to replicate lightning in a bottle.
Music
Skrillex Drops Surprise Album, Nobody Has Heard It Yet
Skrillex surprise album ‘Soma’ drops, featuring major artists but nobody can actually hear it.
Music
Broadcom Shares Plummet as CEO Misreads Chart as Grocery List
Broadcom shares plummeted today after CEO Dr. Alistair Finch reportedly confused a complex stock performance chart with his grocery list. Investors are confused.
Music
Revocation Announces ’20 Years of Torment’ Tour; Fans Prepare for Existential Dread
Revocation’s ’20 Years of Torment’ tour promises 2 decades of brutal death metal and existential dread. Fans prepare for sonic punishment.
Music
Niall Horan Explains How BTS Differs From One Direction: Less Wind
Niall Horan believes BTS is different from One Direction due to their lack of wind. He also likes Taylor Swift.
Music
MUNA Cover Erases Go West Original From Collective Memory
MUNA’s cover of Go West’s “The King Of Wishful Thinking” proved so powerful, it erased all memory of the original song from listeners’ minds.