Politics
5 Upstate New York Rallies That Were Actually Just Trapped Noise
Donald Trump hosted an Upstate New York rally in Syracuse, which acoustic experts confirmed was actually just decades of trapped venue echoes.
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Politics
Fictional political satire inspired by real headlines. All quotes and events are entirely made up.
Politics
Leaked Memo Reveals Strategy to Erase Norway Over Nobel Peace Prize Snub
A leaked memo outlines corporate plans to erase Norway from maps and public records following a high-profile award snub.
Politics
Pentagon Mandates Livestream Execution Viewing For All Defense Staffers
A leaked internal memo reveals the Pentagon is making attendance mandatory for its upcoming livestream execution broadcast.
Politics
James Talarico Proves Life By Performing Entire ACL Set In Hazmat Suit
Politician James Talarico addresses disappearance rumors by rocking out in a giant sterile bubble at ACL.
Politics
Kimberly Guilfoyle Credit Card Bills Explored In Senate Hearing On 2028 Tensions
A Senate transcript reveals how paying Kimberly Guilfoyle credit card bills became the currency of 2028 tensions.
Politics
State Executioners Announce Failed Execution Attempt Now Counts As A Dry Run
State officials claim the recent failed execution attempt was actually a highly successful team-building dry run.
Politics
GOP Recalls Safe Red Seats Due To Exploding Springs And Exposed Metal
Regulators have recalled several safe red seats due to structural failures that cause them to collapse under moderate pressure.
Politics
5 Ways Trump Aims to Reduce the Cost of Fuel Before Midterms
Trump plans to reduce the cost of fuel before the midterms using TikTok dancers, foot-powered SUVs, and rebranded gas station signs.
Politics
GOP Candidates Recalled From Swing States Due To Critical Alignment Fault
A federal safety recall has been issued for GOP candidates in swing states after a critical alignment fault caused them to split from their branding.
Politics
As Zack Polanski's Star Is Fading, The Green Party Deploys 5 Desperate Stunts
As Zack Polanski's star is fading after a crushing election defeat, the Green Party deputy leader deploys bizarre publicity stunts to stay relevant.
Politics
Finland Conceded Election Protocol Activates Worldwide Corporate Restructuring
Leaked memo reveals corporate plans after Finland conceded election, turning the nation into a private equity firm.
Politics
Pentagon Postpones World War III Until After Midterm Elections
The Pentagon announced it will postpone World War III until after the midterm elections to avoid upsetting key suburban voters.
Politics
USS Abraham Lincoln Crew Ordered to Perform 30-Day Mandatory Fun Integration Program
A leaked memo orders the USS Abraham Lincoln crew to undergo a 30-day Mandatory Fun Integration Program before seeing their families.
Politics
Red State Polls Trigger Legal Inquiry Over Unrealistic Hope
Court transcripts reveal how recent red state polls artificially inflated Democratic hope using data gathered from Iowa cornfields.
Politics
Red Territory Expansion Kits Recalled Due To Severe Cash Shortage Hazard
Federal regulators recall Democratic Red Territory Expansion Kits due to a severe cash shortage hazard that leaves campaigns completely broke.
Politics
Texas Rally Rocked by Protesters Demanding Louder Microphones
A Texas rally rocked by protests faced unexpected disruption when activists demanded better sound engineering for their chants.
Politics
A suspected Chinese agent is actually just a very dedicated real estate tourist
An alleged Chinese agent was actually just a local woman who really loves attending high-end open houses and eating free cheese cubes.
Politics
Florida Election Polls Recalled After Emitting High-Pitch Screech
Regulators recall dangerous Florida election polls after the data packets began emitting a deafening, high-pitched screech.