Politics
Climate Goal Hearing Proves Oil Execs Knew The Future Was Cooked
A newly unsealed court transcript reveals energy giants knew they would miss the primary climate goal and bet against the future of human agriculture.
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Politics
Fictional political satire inspired by real headlines. All quotes and events are entirely made up.
Politics
Trump Campaign Rally Recalled Due To Severe Side Effects On Embattled Republicans
Regulators issue a recall for the Trump Campaign Rally after the product caused sudden, severe polling drops for embattled Republicans.
Politics
Presidential Immunity Hacks Nicolas Maduro Is Trying in Court
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro tests presidential immunity in U.S. court using bizarre legal defense tactics.
Politics
Campaign spending recalled after low-cost victories
Regulators issue a campaign spending recall after several candidates win primaries using low-cost strategies instead of expensive ad buys.
Politics
Trump $1 Coins Recall Initiated After Falling out of People's Pockets
Leaked memo reveals the Trump $1 coins are being recalled due to a strange defect that makes them slip out of pockets.
Politics
Federal Recall Issued For The Government Shutdown Prevention Bill
Regulators have issued an urgent recall for the government shutdown prevention bill after discovering hazardous levels of bipartisan functionality.
Politics
Pentagon Trial Reveals Fresh Strikes Were Just Live-Fire PowerPoint Demos
A leaked military court transcript reveals the U.S. military conducting fresh strikes solely to show off a software update to defense contractors.
Politics
Andy Burnham Battles Trump-Shaped Problems Blocking Parliament Doors
Prime Minister Andy Burnham faces massive Trump-shaped problems blocking the entrance to the House of Commons.
Politics
Lake America Rebranding Sparks Corporate Unity and Pure Joy
The Department of National Geography announces the successful rollout of the newly branded Lake America to streamline domestic cartography.
Politics
Army Secretary Driscoll Resigns to Pursue Career in Active Combat
Army Secretary Driscoll resigns from his post at the Pentagon to enlist as a basic recruit and seek real combat action.
Politics
U.S. Blockade Now Targets Iran's Imaginary Friend
The latest U.S. blockade targets Babak, Iran's most popular imaginary friend, freezing his cloud-based assets.
Politics
Speaker Johnson Recalled Over Major Hardware Defect
The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a recall for the Speaker Johnson model due to a risk of premature collapse under mild pressure.
Politics
Donald Trump Hosts Oil Executives for a Mandatory Group Hug
Donald Trump gathered oil executives for a mandatory group hug to lower fuel costs and resolve price gouging through physical touch.
Politics
Scott Bessent Seeks Tariffs On Friendship At G20 Summit
Scott Bessent proposes tariffs on friendship at the G20 summit, taxing polite nods and handshakes to force allies into cooperation.
Politics
House Back In Session Memo Orders Staff To Hide All Chairs
A leaked internal memo reveals House leadership is removing all chairs to ensure the House back in session remains as brief as humanly possible.
Politics
Pentagon Uses Jordan Base Exchange To Swap Damaged Fighter Jets
The Pentagon utilized a standard Jordan base exchange to return damaged fighter jets under a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.
Politics
Congress Demands To Know Why Sunday Shows Do Not Have Fun Little Games
Congress grills network executives over the lack of fun little games like trivia, obstacle courses, or dunk tanks on Sunday morning talk shows.
Politics
ICE Debuts Dartboard Deportation System to Streamline Third-Country Exiles
ICE debuts a brand-new dartboard system to streamline third-country deportations, sending migrants to random nations with a spin of a map.