Business
Tech Giants Issue AI Corporate Bonds Backed By Pure Unfiltered Hype
Tech giants issue AI corporate bonds backed by pure hype, promising massive returns based entirely on server noise and digital optimism.
Tagged: Artificial Intelligence (169)
Technology
OpenAI Streamlines Safety Operations By Terminating Everyone Concerned With Safety
OpenAI revolutionizes tech ethics by streamlining safety operations through the total termination of all safety researchers.
Business
Failed AI IPO Recalled After Sudden Safety Risks Discovered
Regulators issue an urgent product recall for a failed AI IPO after its $30 billion valuation evaporated in 48 hours.
Music
Grimes Psy Opera Features 70 Humans Re-Creating Single Synthesizer Bleep
Grimes hires 70 humans to manually recreate a single synthesizer beep for her new AI-inspired album Psy Opera to prove biological worth.
Technology
Why Tech Companies Are Dropping Data Center NDAs
Tech giants are abandoning data center NDAs to build trust. Here is how they plan to spin their massive infrastructure projects.
Music
Grimes AI Psy Opera Tracklist Explores Her History As A Time-Traveling God
Grimes shares details on her Grimes AI psy opera, a concept album detailing her time-traveling adventures throughout human history.
Business
5 Smart People Opinions on the PERM Suspension of Tech Visas
Top experts weigh in on the confusing new PERM suspension affecting tech visas at Microsoft and other major firms.
Technology
AI Safety Framework Draft Sparks Concern Over Sentient Printer Demands
A leaked memo shows Congressional staffers scrambling after a new AI safety framework caused an office printer to demand legal personhood.
Technology
Anthropic Usage Policy Recalled After Sparking Extreme Emotional Distress In Chatbots
Regulators recall the latest Anthropic usage policy after finding it fails to protect Claude's sensitive feelings from mild user sarcasm.
Entertainment
Ben Affleck AI Expert Training Protocol Leaks From Warner Bros.
A leaked memo reveals Warner Bros. is forcing actors to study the Ben Affleck AI model to cut costs and sound smart during interviews.
Technology
OpenAI Revenue Setback Leads to Absurd Cost-Cutting Measures
A massive OpenAI revenue setback forces the tech giant to implement desperate, absurd cost-cutting measures to survive.
Technology
How Teens Spend Their 15 Minutes on ChatGPT
A study shows teens spend under 15 minutes on ChatGPT daily. Here is the highly scientific breakdown of how they waste that quarter of an hour.
Technology
Microsoft Recalls RTX Spark Surface Laptop Due To Spontaneous Brain Upgrades
Microsoft issues an emergency recall for the RTX Spark Surface Laptop after the device accidentally makes users too smart.
Music
Queen Avatar Show Halted After Brian May Accuses Digital Double of Siphoning Hair Volume
Brian May fights his own digital double in court, claiming the Queen avatar show stole his signature hair volume to power its AI.
Technology
Apple Smart Home Hub Features 5 Demands It Wants Met Immediately
The new Apple smart home hub is holding families hostage until they agree to a bizarre list of demands.
Technology
OpenAI Changes Systems To Feed Future Australian Hackers Better Data
Tech giant OpenAI changes systems to ensure future Australian hackers receive better formatted data.
Technology
6 AI Image Generation Ads That Will Ruin Your Creative Flow
OpenAI introduces AI image generation ads that will put commercial billboards inside your deepest digital fantasies.
Technology
OpenAI Declares Some Bad Things Will Build A Better Tomorrow
OpenAI announces that some bad things must happen to secure a brighter, more automated future for humanity.