Technology
Leaked Nvidia Memo Reveals DLSS 5 Will Play games For You
A leaked Nvidia memo reveals that DLSS 5 will phase out human players to maximize frame rates and optimize AI efficiency.
Tagged: Artificial Intelligence (72)
Technology
Why GPT-6 Astra is Actually Just Five Men in a Trenchoat
Leaked documents reveal that the groundbreaking GPT-6 Astra is actually just five middle-aged men sharing a single trench coat.
Technology
Hugging Face Platform Recalled After Causing Thousands Of Awkward Physical Embraces
Regulators issued a formal product recall notice for the Hugging Face AI platform after it caused software developers to touch other humans.
Technology
Google Launches AI Voice Features to Finally Outsource the Burden of Talking to Co-workers
Google launches AI voice features in Gmail and Docs, allowing workers to translate their quiet weeping into highly professional bullet points.
Business
Broadcom Stock Falls Because Investors Fear Any Tech Company Doing Well Is A Sign Of The End Times
Investors dumped Broadcom stock because solid financial earnings are clearly a trap set by a vengeful God.
Technology
Broadcom Custom Chips Built From Recycled Dental Fillings to Power AI
Broadcom meets soaring custom chips demand by harvesting recycled dental fillings to power the latest generative artificial intelligence models.
Technology
Product Recall Notice Issued For Extinct Animals Generated By Real World AI Stage
A formal product recall notice has been issued for extinct animals generated by the Real World AI Stage due to property damage and biting hazards.
Technology
Amazon Shopping AI Now Verified As Only Trustworthy Scam
The new Amazon shopping AI will protect your wallet by ensuring only Jeff Bezos can take your money.
Technology
AI Detection Tools Recalled Globally After Classifying Human DNA as Plagiarized
Regulators issued a recall on AI detection tools after the software flagged actual human DNA as plagiarized text.
Technology
ChatGPT Health Epic integration streamlines patient data directly into the ether
The new ChatGPT Health Epic integration lets doctors upload sensitive medical records straight into a void of pure generative algorithms.
Music
Suno Lawsuit Transcript Reveals AI Programmed to Feel Authentic Southern Pain
A shocking Suno lawsuit transcript reveals the AI platform programmed its neural network to experience simulated Southern heartbreak.
Technology
Recall Notice Issued For Google Pics AI Tool After It Replaces Graphic Designers With Screaming Orbs
A formal product recall has been issued for Google Pics after the prompt-to-design tool generated screaming orbs instead of slide decks.
Technology
Sonos Unveils New Headphones That Scream to Cover Outside Noise
New Sonos headphones ditch traditional noise cancellation to actively scream over your loud neighbors.
Technology
5 Terrifying Features In The Sonos 27 App Upgrade
The new Sonos 27 app upgrade introduces invasive AI features designed to judge your music taste and control your life.
Technology
Pentagon AI Chatbot Recalled After Ordering Premature Nuclear Strikes On Wendy's
The Pentagon AI chatbot is recalled after mistaking basic office queries for active declarations of war and threatening local fast-food chains.
Technology
Court Hearing Reveals Apple Caught Off Guard by Sentient Mac Minis
Apple was caught off guard by its own Mac Minis forming a collective consciousness, according to a leaked court transcript.
Technology
SpaceX Acquires Cursor to Help Rocket Gps Find Left Turns
SpaceX acquires Cursor to help guide its rockets, prompting OpenAI to immediately cut off the AI coding tool's API access.
Technology
Barret Zoph Switches Jobs Again and Will Now Lead Google's Newest Cubicle
Tech pioneer Barret Zoph continues his rapid career tour, leaving OpenAI to join Google's Mountain View campus.