Music
Trump’s Supreme Court Loss Sends Nation Scrambling For New Scapegoat
The Supreme Court delivered a stunning 3-1 defeat to former President Donald Trump, leaving the nation’s blame-assigning infrastructure in utter disarray.
Tagged: Donald Trump (71)
Music
Reflecting Pool Golf Course Opens Amidst Dissent
The iconic Reflecting Pool is now ‘in full use,’ former President Trump confirmed. It transformed into an 18-hole Reflecting Pool Golf Course.
Music
Trump’s ’90s Music Festival Drowned by Rain, Vanilla Ice Only Survivor
The Trump 90s Festival, initially planned as a star-studded event, was reduced to just Vanilla Ice before a massive storm cancelled everything. Fans left wet.
Politics
Trump-Backed Populist Wins Colombia Vote, Immediately Asks For Border Wall
Trump-backed populist wins Colombia vote, vows to build a border wall. Protests erupt as nation faces uncertain future.
Politics
Meloni Tells Trump to ‘Go Play in Traffic,’ Unleashes G7 Fury
Italian PM Giorgia Meloni unleashed a G7 tirade against Donald Trump, suggesting he ‘take up competitive pigeon racing’ instead of international diplomacy.
Music
Judge Restores Kennedy Center’s Name, Blocks Renovation-Themed ‘Nap’
A federal judge reversed Trump’s renaming of the Kennedy Center and blocked its two-year closure. The unexpected Kennedy Center ruling saves mime festivals.
Music
Trump Slams “Third Rate” Freedom 250 Dropouts, Eyes “Patriot Rally” for True Believers
Donald Trump criticized “third-rate” Freedom 250 dropouts, proposing a D.C. rally for loyalists instead of a concert by “unreliable” artists.
Music
Vanilla Ice Defends Performing at Trump Concert, Says He ‘Doesn’t Even Vote’
Vanilla Ice defended performing at a Trump concert, saying ‘I don’t even vote’ and would play for any leader.
Politics
Judge Reviews Trump’s $1.8 Billion “Anti-Weaponization” Fund
Judge reviews Trump’s $1.8 billion ‘anti-weaponization’ fund, reportedly for luxury goods. Satire.
Music
Anti-Weaponization Fund Stalls, Donors Demand Return of ‘Lawfare’ Legos
Trump’s Anti-Weaponization Fund hits a snag, leaving donors demanding their ‘Lawfare Legos’ back and rebranding efforts in shambles.
Music
Trump’s Excellent Health Redefines “Excellent”; Doctors Confused
Amid reports of Trump’s excellent health, medical professionals grapple with a new definition of “peak physical condition” that includes limited exercise and a unique diet.
World
Trump’s Freedom 250 Concert Descends Into 90s Hip-Hop Chaos
Trump’s Freedom 250 concert is a mess. Artists are dropping out amid payment disputes, but Vanilla Ice still plans to attend.
Music
Morris Day & The Time Prioritize Nap Time Over Freedom 250 Fallout
Morris Day & The Time pulled out of the Freedom 250 concert series, citing “extensive periods of self-reflection.” This deepens the Freedom 250 fallout for organizers.
Politics
Trump Files Revised Defamation Lawsuit, Cites ‘Aura Dimming’
Donald Trump’s revised defamation lawsuit against WSJ demands reparations for ‘aura dimming,’ seeking 10 billion ‘good vibes’ for brand recovery.
Music
Trump Secures ‘Winnable War’ After Cuba Agrees to Surrender in Principle
Former President Donald Trump finally secured his long-sought winnable war on Cuba, receiving a conditional surrender before hostilities even began.
Music
Trump’s $1.776B Fund Revealed as ‘Patriotic Lawn Gnomes’ Initiative
Controversy surrounding Trump’s $1.776B Fund dissolved today. Its true purpose? Funding America’s burgeoning patriotic lawn gnome industry.
Music
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems “settled.” Diplomats are reportedly now searching for new hobbies.
World
Iran Vows To Fight On As Trump Says Ceasefire Is On Life Support
Iran vows to fight on as Trump says ceasefire is on life support. Middle East conflict enters new phase of passive aggression.