Technology
Apple ADT Partnership to Shock Unlocked Front Doors With 10,000 Volts
The new Apple ADT partnership promises to secure homes by instantly electrocuting anyone touching an unlocked door handle.
Tagged: Tim Cook (9)
Technology
Samsung Trolls Apple By Hiring Every Person Named Tim Cook
Samsung trolls Apple by tracking down and hiring every person on Earth named Tim Cook to endorse its new foldable smartphone.
Technology
Leaked Internal Memo Details Apple's September 9 Event Plans
A leaked internal memo outlines retail strategies for Apple's September 9 Event, focusing on social shame to drive sales.
Technology
What to Expect at the iPhone 18 Pro Event
Get ready for the iPhone 18 Pro event as Apple prepares to launch its most aggressive and expensive upgrade cycle yet.
Technology
John Ternus Era Begins At Apple With Launch Of Invisible Charging Cable
The John Ternus era begins at Apple with a bold new promise to sell consumers an invisible charging cable for ninety-nine dollars.
Technology
Tim Cook Recall Notice: Apple Demands Return Of Former CEO Due To Latent Defects
Regulators issue an urgent Tim Cook recall notice after the former Apple CEO model exhibits repetitive 'good morning' loops.
Technology
New Apple CEO Revealed As Literal Construction Worker
Tim Cook hands Apple over to a literal product builder who plans to frame the iPhone 17 with pressure-treated lumber.
Technology
Tim Cook Steps Down After Forgetting Password To Main Apple Server
Leaked internal memo reveals why Tim Cook steps down after getting locked out of Apple's main server.
Technology
Apple Releases iPhone 18 Pro Decades Before Competitors Can Even Think of It
Apple shocks the tech world by releasing the iPhone 18 Pro decades ahead of schedule, completely breaking the linear space-time continuum.