Music
Feds Issue Shane Butler Debut Warning Following Unannounced Psych-Folk Launch
Regulators recall the Shane Butler debut single 'Ringfinger' over high levels of nostalgia and dangerous New England psych-folk frequencies.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Queen Avatar Show Halted After Brian May Accuses Digital Double of Siphoning Hair Volume
Brian May fights his own digital double in court, claiming the Queen avatar show stole his signature hair volume to power its AI.
Music
Teens In Trouble 'I Do' Single Sparks Global Passive-Aggressive Outbreak
The new Teens In Trouble 'I Do' single is causing a global epidemic of passive-aggressive sighs and sudden, relatable mood swings.
Music
Metallica Sphere Setlist Features No Heavy Metal or Electric Instruments on Night Two
The second Metallica Sphere setlist shocked fans in Las Vegas with an all-acoustic polka set featuring no electric instruments.
Music
The Dead Daisies Recipient of Foreigner Singer Kelly Hansen in Direct Mail Campaign
The Dead Daisies receive singer Kelly Hansen in a cardboard shipping tube, announcing a 2027 tour and new single.
Music
Slayyyter Announces Brother Album to Iconic 2026 Pop Record
Slayyyter is ready to release her new brother album, Wor$t Man in America, featuring nine aggressive new electronic tracks.
Music
Phil Collins Fat People Song Revealed in Court Deposition
A court transcript reveals details about the Phil Collins fat people song, a controversial unreleased track aimed at American culture.
Music
Drake Grammys Boycott Reaches 2027 as Leaked Memo Reveals New Strategy
A leaked internal memo reveals the real, highly embarrassing reason behind the ongoing Drake Grammys boycott scheduled for 2027.
Music
Knifeplay Love Song Forces Philadelphia to Ban Public Displays of Sadness
The new Knifeplay Love Song has forced Philadelphia officials to outlaw crying in public after extreme shoegaze sadness gripped the city.
Music
Choosin' Texas Remix Drops as Fans Demand Immediate Geographic Re-education
The Choosin' Texas remix by Drake and Don Toliver drops, sparking immediate geographical confusion among millions of streaming fans.
Music
Metallica Las Vegas Monster Recalled After Escaping Sphere Screen
Regulators recall the Metallica Las Vegas monster after the 3D visual escaped the Sphere screen and fled into the Nevada desert.
Music
Fontaines D.C. Plot 2027 Tour Across North America With Iceage
Post-punk icons Fontaines D.C. plot 2027 tour three years in advance to hedge against global inflation.
Music
French Oi Crew Squelette EP Recalled for Being Dangerously Cool
Regulators recall the French Oi Crew Squelette EP after listeners report sudden leather jacket growth and severe scowling.
Music
Turnstile SNL Debut Ruined After Taylor Swift Accidentally Swallows Bassist
The highly anticipated Turnstile SNL debut ended in chaos after Taylor Swift accidentally swallowed bassist Franz Lyons on live television.
Music
Shakira Livestreaming Record Broken After Amazon Echoes Left on for Pets
A new Shakira livestreaming record was set after millions of Amazon Echo devices broadcast her Madrid concert to empty living rooms.
Music
Tom Morello Vote Shock Waves Rock Non-Partisan Festival
A sudden Tom Morello vote controversy rocks the non-partisan Power To The People festival after the guitarist rejects corporate Democrats.
Music
Polaris Tribute Track 'Without You' Outsources Sadness to AI
Polaris Tribute Track 'Without You' automates the band's grief for Ryan Siew with help from Goldman Sachs.
Music
Taylor Swift NFL Appearance Subpoenaed in Federal Payola Investigation
A federal grand jury investigates if a Taylor Swift NFL appearance violates antitrust laws and broadcast payola regulations.