Music
Billboard Español TV Launches New Show as Court Exhibit A in Bribery Trial
A federal court transcript reveals the launch of Billboard Español TV was actually a massive front for a global streaming conspiracy.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Nikki Nair Groundhogs Recall Issued Over Dangerous Bass Vibrations
A federal recall of Nikki Nair Groundhogs warns of severe structural damage caused by rodent-attracting bass frequencies.
Music
TAGABOW Mixtape Collaboration Causes Federal Anti-Trust Investigation
A leaked federal memo reveals an anti-trust probe into the new TAGABOW mixtape collaboration for monopolizing the indie rock scene.
Music
GTA VI Radio Station to Feature Lana Del Rey and Her Alligator Tour-Guide Husband
A new GTA VI radio station features Lana Del Rey, Morgan Wallen, and her alligator-guide husband broadcasting live from a virtual swamp.
Music
Weverse Con Festival India Recalled Due To Uncontrolled Choreography Risks
Regulators issued a safety recall for the Weverse Con Festival India package, citing extreme risks of synchronized kinetic overload.
Music
Soup Activists New Album Sparks Internal Memo at Waste Management Giant
A leaked memo details corporate panic over the Soup Activists new album and its threat to the municipal waste management industry.
Music
Saddest Day 2026 Passes Recalled After Causing Structural Sadness
Regulators recall Saddest Day 2026 passes due to extreme risks of spontaneous weeping and structural emotional damage.
Music
Thundercat Sonic Soundtrack Is Way Too Fast for Human Ears
The new Thundercat Sonic soundtrack is so fast that only household pets and hyperactive blue hedgehogs can actually hear it.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Elephant Dress Scrapped After Irvine Heat Wave Threatens Historical Sweat
The Olivia Rodrigo Elephant dress was deemed too hot for her Daisy Chain Fields festival after a massive Irvine heat wave.
Music
Dead Oceans Signs Star Moles to Record Deal Amid Conspiracy Allegations
A shocking court transcript reveals the truth after Dead Oceans signs Star Moles to a massive new record deal.
Music
Twisted Teens Stalks Lawsuit Reveals Loophole For Endless Album Output
A shocking court transcript reveals the dark industry secrets behind the rapid release of the Twisted Teens Stalks single.
Music
SiriusXMU Acoustic Cure Cover Leaks Secret Emo Depopulation Memo
Leaked memo reveals corporate panic over the emotional damage caused by the SiriusXMU acoustic cure cover.
Music
Federal Product Recall Issued for daine Wishing Well After Acoustic Frequencies Leak
A federal product recall has been issued for the new daine Wishing Well single due to hazardous levels of acoustic guitar and pretty melodies.
Music
Anna McClellan EP Recalled Nationally After Listeners Suffer Severe Midwest Nostalgia
A federal recall has been issued for the upcoming Anna McClellan EP due to extreme risks of sudden, uncontrollable Midwest nostalgia.
Music
Peel Dream Magazine Vinyl Trial Exposes Indie Music Space Conspiracy
A court transcript from the Peel Dream Magazine vinyl trial reveals shocking secrets behind the band's expanded reissue.
Music
St. Vincent Covers Yeah Yeah Yeahs to Calm Rich People Wearing Blankets
St. Vincent covers Yeah Yeah Yeahs at a high-fashion runway show to successfully calm down a crowd of panicked billionaires.
Music
Lorenzo Senni New Album Unveiled to Confuse Skateparks Globally
Get ready for the Lorenzo Senni new album featuring skate legends Chad Muska and Jamie Thomas in a drumless rave paradise.
Music
Council Debut Album Announced to Force Listeners Into Infinite Temporal Loop
The Council debut album by Gabriel Kahane and Pekka Kuusisto reportedly traps listeners in an inescapable, polite 24-hour time loop.