Music
Bad Wolves Jolene Cover Recalled After Exposing Listeners to Extreme Dolly Parton Deprivation
Regulators issue an urgent product recall for the Bad Wolves Jolene cover after discovering a total absence of promised Dolly Parton vocals.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
TheARTI$t Purpose Memo Leaked After Singer Finds True Calling
Leaked Atlantic Records memo reveals corporate panic over R&B star finding TheARTI$t Purpose during her viral single 'Sober'.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Charity Festival Sued Over 'Too Much Helpfulness' by Live Nation
Court transcripts reveal the legal battle over the Olivia Rodrigo charity festival and its $10 million fundraising success.
Music
Revolution Hall Renovation Proves Moldy Desks Make the Best Concert Seating
The Revolution Hall renovation brings authentic detention-era aromas and moldy desks to Portland music fans.
Music
Mac DeMarco Streaming Drop Includes Audio of Artist Doing His Laundry
The new Mac DeMarco streaming drop features four secret albums, including a 45-minute recording of the indie star doing his laundry.
Music
Haute & Freddy Touch Touch Lawsuit Exposes Illegal Pop Hook Cartel
A shocking court transcript reveals the secret cartel behind Haute & Freddy Touch Touch and the global monopoly on catchy choruses.
Music
Trentemøller Album Announcement Sparks Massive Local Panic After Danish Synth Wave Mistaken For Tsunami
A dramatic Trentemøller album announcement triggered a city-wide evacuation in Copenhagen after residents mistook synth waves for a real tsunami.
Music
Before The World Blows Memo Warns Employees of Imminent Doom
Leaked memo reveals Motown Records plans to market the new album Before The World Blows by Erykah Badu and The Alchemist before society collapses.
Music
Frost Children Remix Declared A Hazardous Noise Spill By Corporate HR
An internal corporate memo orders the immediate quarantine of the new underscores tracks and the volatile Frost Children remix.
Music
New David Byrne Film Features 12 Hours of Concrete Architecture and No Music
The new David Byrne film from director Brady Corbet swaps out the music for 12 hours of raw concrete buildings.
Music
Florida Bans Jelly Roll Over Trump Penis Comments
Florida legislators have enacted an official Jelly Roll Florida ban following the singer's comments regarding Donald Trump's physical anatomy.
Music
Dahi Releases How to Pray But Fans Demand Refund Over Lack of Holy Water
Dahi Releases How to Pray but listeners complain the Kendrick Lamar collab lacks physical miracles.
Music
Beyoncé B’Day Deluxe Box Set Includes Jar of Actual Honey Bee Venom
The new Beyoncé B’Day deluxe box set includes a jar of live bees, forcing fans to survive the physical media experience.
Music
Jennie Fallen Angel EP Recalled Globally for Hazardous Levels of Unregulated Emo
Regulators issue an urgent recall for the Jennie Fallen Angel EP due to hazardous levels of unregulated gothic despair and emotional risk.
Music
Katseye Drops Out After Member Sprains Ankle During High-Stakes Red Light Green Light Match
Tragedy strikes as Katseye drops out of the Daisy Chain Fields Festival following a playground injury.
Music
Zara Larsson Grammy Eligibility Revoked After Academy Discovers She Exists
The Recording Academy confirms Zara Larsson Grammy eligibility is void because she has been a famous pop star for over ten years.
Music
5 Signs That The Drin Prophets Of Doom Is Actually About Your Landlord
Local renters discover that The Drin Prophets Of Doom is actually a highly detailed complaint about their security deposit.
Music
Jelly Roll Florida Panhandle Ban Imposed After First Political Comments
A federal court transcript reveals the aftermath of Jelly Roll's first political comments, resulting in a ban from the Florida Panhandle.