Music
Stella Lefty Tour Boston Stop Sparking Federal Antitrust Investigation
A federal court transcript reveals the dark truth behind the Stella Lefty Tour Boston stop and its ties to the country music cartel.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
NCT 127 BLINGY Album Triggers Global Sequins Shortage
The new NCT 127 BLINGY album has caused a massive global sequins shortage, leaving the fashion industry in complete chaos.
Music
Noah Kahan Credit Added After Pop-Country Singer Realized She Copied 'Stick Season' While Buying Flannel
Singer Stella Lefty explains how she accidentally gave Noah Kahan credit on her new track after a flannel-related songwriting mishap.
Music
Graham Hunt Track Sparks Federal Lawsuit Over Fuzz-Pop Overdose
A federal grand jury investigates the new Graham Hunt Track, 'Guardian Angel’s Arms,' for hazardous levels of Midwestern fuzz-pop distortion.
Music
Ella Langley Ties Record for Longest-Running Non-Christmas #1 Song With These 5 Absurd Loophole Songs
Country star Ella Langley ties record for longest-running non-Christmas #1 song, proving you do not need Mariah Carey to dominate the music charts.
Music
Bret Michaels Cancels Tour After Kidneys Convene Secret Band Meeting
Court records show Bret Michaels had to cancel tour dates after his extracted kidney stones voted to form a rival hair metal band.
Music
Buckcherry Tour Bus Safely Misses Out of Control Hyundai in Miracle of Early 2000s Hard Rock
Members of Buckcherry emerged unharmed after their Buckcherry tour bus avoided a tragic multi-vehicle accident on Interstate 80.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo CD Single Sparks Corporate Panic After Selling Out in Minutes
An internal memo reveals corporate panic after the new Olivia Rodrigo CD single sold out instantly at a California record store.
Music
Leaked Memo: Max Weinberg Tour Swap Triggered Live Nation Panic
A leaked Live Nation memo reveals corporate panic over the Max Weinberg tour swap with King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.
Music
Gustavo Dudamel Farewell Tour Features Foo Fighters Screaming Over Los Angeles Philharmonic
The Gustavo Dudamel farewell concert featured the LA Phil and Foo Fighters in a battle of classical strings versus raw rock volume.
Music
Alex Warren Auckland Concert Recalled Due to Safety Hazard
Regulators issued an urgent recall for the Alex Warren Auckland concert after the singer suffered a sudden biological system failure.
Music
Meg White Lookalike Hunt Ends With Daily Mail Stalking Local Dental Hygienist
The Daily Mail mistook a Detroit dental hygienist for the White Stripes drummer during a bizarre Meg White lookalike hunt.
Music
Sheryl Crow Cars Theme Revs Up Disney Corporate Synergy
Disney announces the new Sheryl Crow Cars theme to celebrate twenty years of vehicular pop-rock synergy.
Music
Carly Rae Jepsen Motivation Revealed as Nationwide Mind Control Scheme in Court
Court testimony reveals Carly Rae Jepsen Motivation is actually a classified acoustic stimulant designed to force physical labor.
Music
ENHYPEN’s ‘THE SIN : BLISS’ Sparks Civil War as Fans Demand 100% of All Global Votes
Fans of ENHYPEN’s ‘THE SIN : BLISS’ are furious after the EP won a weekly poll with only 73% of the vote, demanding a total fan re-education campaign.
Music
Drake Country Collaboration Teased by PowerPoint in Nashville Press Release
A corporate task force prepares for a Drake country collaboration after the rapper was spotted at an Ella Langley show.
Music
Big Thief Triple Album Recalled After Causing Severe Emotional Drowsiness
Regulators issue a recall on the Big Thief triple album after listeners report severe emotional drowsiness and involuntary wistful sighing.
Music
Justin Timberlake Concert Pop-Up Spawns Terrifying New Safety Protocols
A surprise Justin Timberlake concert appearance at a Don Toliver show forces Miami venues to adopt extreme new safety protocols.