Technology
7 New Handoff Pricing Plans Mobile Carriers Are Rolling Out
Mobile carriers are introducing bold new handoff pricing structures to charge users for moving data between their own devices.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Apple Retail Staff Ordered to Mock iPhone Duo Walk-In Buyers
Court testimony reveals Apple retail staff were trained to mock and hiss at iPhone Duo walk-in buyers.
Technology
6 Features Of The Flying Roadster That Prove Cars Were For Losers
The new flying Roadster proves cars are obsolete. Explore the top features of Tesla's soaring new vehicle.
Technology
Apple Smart Home Device Glues Old iPad to Toaster
Apple announces its revolutionary Apple smart home device, which physically glues an old iPad directly to your kitchen toaster.
Technology
Microsoft Surface Ultra Lawsuit Exposes Tech Sector Delusion
A court transcript reveals tech executives made wild claims about the Microsoft Surface Ultra despite knowing the hardware would instantly melt.
Technology
Tesla Flying Roadster Traps Executive Team In Stratosphere
A prototype Tesla flying Roadster successfully launched into the stratosphere, though engineers forgot to include a landing mechanism.
Technology
Silicon Valley Executives Defend Massive Tech Ballroom Donors In Leaked Testimony
Leaked court transcripts reveal how tech ballroom donors spent millions on venue upgrades to secure unprecedented access to federal lawmakers.
Technology
Recall Issued For Starlink Restrictions Network Coverage
Regulators issued a safety recall for Starlink restrictions due to severe hazards caused by erratic orbital signal throttles.
Technology
New Galaxy Watch Sleep Feature Locks Wrist Until User Completes REM Cycle
Samsung updates the Galaxy Watch sleep feature to physically lock onto wrists until wearers achieve eight hours of mandatory rest.
Technology
Elon Musk Restricts Starlink Internet After Drone Accidentally Hits His Top Score
Elon Musk restricted Starlink internet access after a drone operator reportedly beat his personal high score in an online combat game.
Technology
Internal Memo: Starlink Sabotage Protocols Require Louder Space Fires
A leaked memo reveals executives want any Starlink sabotage to look more dramatic for social media content.
Technology
7 Unbelievable Features Of Meta's Muse Wonder AI
Meta released its Muse Wonder AI model. Here are seven incredible, highly invasive features packed into the software.
Technology
Tech Executive Admits AI Emergency Brake Just Unplugged Entire Internet
A court transcript reveals the new AI emergency brake system is just a guy named Greg holding a wooden broom handle near a circuit breaker.
Technology
U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Recalls New iPad Mini OLED
Regulators issued a safety recall for the new iPad mini OLED after extreme price tags caused severe financial shock in early buyers.
Technology
Amazon Buys Decart AI To Predict Why You Broke Up
Amazon buys Decart AI for $7 billion to analyze your bad personality traits and explain why your romantic relationships keep failing.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Demands Entry-Level MacBook Pro Overhaul Immediately
A leaked memo reveals Apple is rushing an entry-level MacBook Pro overhaul to trick consumers into buying new hardware.
Technology
Apple HomeView Trial Reveals Plan to Monetize Household Silence
A court transcript reveals the Apple HomeView hub will charge users a fee for remaining silent near the device.
Technology
Apple ADT Partnership to Shock Unlocked Front Doors With 10,000 Volts
The new Apple ADT partnership promises to secure homes by instantly electrocuting anyone touching an unlocked door handle.