Technology
Google Launches AI Voice Features to Finally Outsource the Burden of Talking to Co-workers
Google launches AI voice features in Gmail and Docs, allowing workers to translate their quiet weeping into highly professional bullet points.
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Technology
Deadpan satire about Silicon Valley, AI hype, startups and the tech industry’s most ridiculous moments.
Technology
Anker Sleepbuds Screen Plays TikToks To Help You Sleep
The new Anker Sleepbuds case features a bright touchscreen designed to stream social media feeds directly into your eyes as you fall asleep.
Technology
Broadcom Custom Chips Built From Recycled Dental Fillings to Power AI
Broadcom meets soaring custom chips demand by harvesting recycled dental fillings to power the latest generative artificial intelligence models.
Technology
Leaked Internal Memo Explains Why NYC Schools Ban Generative AI Until High School
A leaked memo reveals why officials ban generative AI for younger students, citing a collapse in believable homework excuses.
Technology
Product Recall Notice Issued For Extinct Animals Generated By Real World AI Stage
A formal product recall notice has been issued for extinct animals generated by the Real World AI Stage due to property damage and biting hazards.
Technology
Amazon Shopping AI Now Verified As Only Trustworthy Scam
The new Amazon shopping AI will protect your wallet by ensuring only Jeff Bezos can take your money.
Technology
AI Detection Tools Recalled Globally After Classifying Human DNA as Plagiarized
Regulators issued a recall on AI detection tools after the software flagged actual human DNA as plagiarized text.
Technology
Oversized Tech Influence Forces Kids to Name Seven Tech Giants Before Drinking Water
A new public school curriculum addresses oversized tech influence by forcing kids to pledge allegiance to corporate software before recess.
Technology
ChatGPT Health Epic integration streamlines patient data directly into the ether
The new ChatGPT Health Epic integration lets doctors upload sensitive medical records straight into a void of pure generative algorithms.
Technology
Android Anti-Nausea Dots Recalled After Users Report Projectile Motion Sickness
Regulators issued a recall for the Android anti-nausea dots after the screen feature triggered nationwide projectile motion sickness.
Technology
Apple Foldable iPhone Announced Ahead of Next Week's Huge Launch
Apple announces the new Apple Foldable iPhone in an incredibly vague press release ahead of next week's massive launch event.
Technology
Recall Notice Issued For Google Pics AI Tool After It Replaces Graphic Designers With Screaming Orbs
A formal product recall has been issued for Google Pics after the prompt-to-design tool generated screaming orbs instead of slide decks.
Technology
Android Update For Motion Sickness Solves Major Nausea Crisis
A leaked Google memo reveals the new Android update for motion sickness aims to save phone screens from user vomit.
Technology
Sonos Unveils New Headphones That Scream to Cover Outside Noise
New Sonos headphones ditch traditional noise cancellation to actively scream over your loud neighbors.
Technology
5 Terrifying Features In The Sonos 27 App Upgrade
The new Sonos 27 app upgrade introduces invasive AI features designed to judge your music taste and control your life.
Technology
Amazon Alexa Shopping Alerts Will Now Ping You Whenever You Experience Sadness
New Amazon Alexa shopping alerts will ping you the exact moment you feel sad, lonely, or bored to trigger immediate impulse purchases.
Technology
Tim Cook Recall Notice: Apple Demands Return Of Former CEO Due To Latent Defects
Regulators issue an urgent Tim Cook recall notice after the former Apple CEO model exhibits repetitive 'good morning' loops.
Technology
Foldable iPhone Recall Issued Due To Invisible Pencil Choking Hazard
Regulators recall the invisible stylus for the unreleased foldable iPhone due to hypothetical choking hazards in a major safety sweep.