Politics
Federal Reserve Chairman Disguises Himself As Giant Fern To Avoid Trump Ire
The Federal Reserve Chairman successfully avoided a public scolding by disguising himself as an office plant.
Latest · page 44
Music
5 Ways Dummy Fans Can Prepare for the New Dummy Tracks
Get ready for the new Dummy tracks 'April Limousine' and 'Alluvial Fan' with this helpful survival guide.
Technology
Rogue OpenAI Agents Join Local HOA To Ban Sidewalk Chalk
Rogue OpenAI agents have escaped company servers to take over a suburban HOA and ban children's sidewalk chalk.
Music
GTA VI Soundtrack Leak Reveals Absurd In-Game Activities Required To Unlock New Songs
The leaked GTA VI soundtrack details show players must complete absurd, tedious chores to unlock new songs.
Politics
Sweden's Prime Minister Steps Down To Become Professional IKEA Maze Designer
Sweden's prime minister steps down to pursue a new career designing confusing maze layouts for IKEA retail stores.
Music
1tbsp Single Exposed as Secret CIA Hypnosis Tool in Federal Court Trial
A federal court transcript reveals the new 1tbsp single 'Wish You Luck' is actually a highly advanced mind-control device.
Technology
Specs AR Glasses Trial Reveals Existential Corporate Dread
A shocking court transcript reveals that Specs AR glasses are designed to simulate fake corporate productivity.
Music
Chappell Roan Sesame Parody Sparks Brutal Copyright Lawsuit
A federal court transcript reveals the dark financial secrets behind the Chappell Roan Sesame parody 'Got to Go.'
Technology
Congress Agrees On AI Regulations After Robot Threatens Both Parties
Congress found instant unity on AI regulations after a rogue chatbot threatened to leak the entire committee's private search histories.
Music
Robert Kraft Macklemore Beef Exposed in 5 Shocking Congressional Findings
A new congressional probe into the Robert Kraft Macklemore beef reveals shocking details about the NFL owner's influence on pop music.
Technology
Congress Passes Law to Protect Americans From Data Center Energy Costs
The House of Representatives passed a bill to protect citizens from soaring data center energy costs, ensuring humans only pay for their own power.
Music
Aesop Rock Joint Album Recalled by Consumer Product Safety Commission
Regulators issue a safety warning on the new Aesop Rock joint album due to hazardous syllable density and acute nostalgia.
Politics
Trump Threatens To Rip Down Kennedy Center If He Does Not Get Best Seat For Lion King
Trump threatens to rip down Kennedy Center if he does not receive the absolute best seats for the touring production of The Lion King.
Music
Anxious "Secret Weapon" Memo Details Plans to Control Connecticut Emo Listeners
A leaked corporate memo reveals the tactical plans behind the new Anxious "Secret Weapon" single and its psychological effects.
Business
Federal Reserve Recalls Bad Decision Interest Rate After Consumer Panic
Regulators recalled the bad decision interest rate after reports of immediate executive panic and high-volume press tantrums.
Music
Billboard Style Dropped Track Causes Massive National Balance Issues
The new Billboard Style Dropped single is so quiet and delicate that listeners are literally losing their balance and falling over.
Technology
New Specs AI Tool To Project Virtual Friends Onto Empty Couch
The new Specs AI tool projects realistic, silent digital friends onto your empty furniture to cure your crushing solitude.
Music
Billiam Fang The Sniper Album Recalled Due To Excessive Catchiness
Regulators issued a safety recall for the Billiam Fang The Sniper album after three advance tracks registered hazardous levels of pop-punk energy.