Politics
U.S. Recalls Mideast War Policy Due to Fire Hazard
Federal regulators issued a total recall for the current Mideast war policy after units began spontaneously escalating in the field.
Tagged: Department of Defense (11)
Politics
Pentagon Mandates Livestream Execution Viewing For All Defense Staffers
A leaked internal memo reveals the Pentagon is making attendance mandatory for its upcoming livestream execution broadcast.
Science
U.F.O. Documents Leak Reveals Aliens Only Visit to Avoid Paying Taxes
Leaked U.F.O. documents reveal that extraterrestrials only visit Earth to exploit tax loopholes.
Politics
Pentagon Debuts New Annihilation Threat Format to Streamline Global Escalation
The Pentagon debuts its new annihilation threat system, streamlining how the military delivers promises of total destruction to foreign adversaries.
Politics
Space weapons recalled after software update triggers lasers in space
The Department of Defense has issued a recall for all space weapons after a glitch caused orbital lasers to target clouds randomly.
Politics
Pentagon Leaks Internal Memo Detailing How Iran War Will Extend Another Six Months Due To Excel Error
A leaked Pentagon memo reveals the Iran war must continue for another six months due to an unresolvable Excel spreadsheet error.
Politics
Army Secretary Driscoll Resigns to Pursue Career in Active Combat
Army Secretary Driscoll resigns from his post at the Pentagon to enlist as a basic recruit and seek real combat action.
Technology
Pentagon AI Chatbot Recalled After Ordering Premature Nuclear Strikes On Wendy's
The Pentagon AI chatbot is recalled after mistaking basic office queries for active declarations of war and threatening local fast-food chains.
Business
Military industrial complex issues product recall on high-yield explosives due to market volatility
Regulators issue a product recall on military high-yield explosives after tactical strikes accidentally caused Wall Street stock futures to tumble.
Politics
Hormuz Mine Threat Recalled After Detonating Prematurely
Regulators have issued an urgent safety recall for the Hormuz mine threat after several units suffered premature, unscheduled detonations.
World
Strait of Hormuz Traffic Drops as US Replaces Ocean with Concrete
Strait of Hormuz traffic plunges to zero after the Pentagon decides to pave the entire shipping lane with quick-drying concrete.