Politics
Defense Contractors Admit Iran Escalation Is Just Q4 Revenue Strategy
Court testimony reveals defense contractors treat Iran escalation as a routine strategy to boost fourth-quarter corporate profits.
Tagged: Pentagon (26)
Politics
Top 6 Schedule Rules For Planning a Post-Midterms Attack on Iran
Military officials reveal strict schedule rules when planning a post-midterms attack on Iran.
Politics
Pentagon Mandates Livestream Execution Viewing For All Defense Staffers
A leaked internal memo reveals the Pentagon is making attendance mandatory for its upcoming livestream execution broadcast.
Politics
Pentagon Postpones World War III Until After Midterm Elections
The Pentagon announced it will postpone World War III until after the midterm elections to avoid upsetting key suburban voters.
Politics
Military Brass Cuts Memo Reveals Plan To Replace Generals With Drones
A leaked memo outlines plans for military brass cuts, replacing 20% of generals with retail-grade quadcopters.
Politics
US Military Forgets Where It Parked 400 Helicopters During Iraq Withdrawal
The historic Iraq withdrawal hit a minor roadblock as the Pentagon admitted it lost track of several hundred tactical helicopters.
Politics
Pentagon Debuts New Annihilation Threat Format to Streamline Global Escalation
The Pentagon debuts its new annihilation threat system, streamlining how the military delivers promises of total destruction to foreign adversaries.
World
Houthis Promise Safe Passage to Any US Vessel Named 'The Wet Noodle'
Houthi rebels offer safe passage to any US vessel in the Red Sea, provided the warship renames itself 'The Wet Noodle' to ensure maritime safety.
Politics
Trump Appoints Sentient Toaster To Lead New AI Force
The Trump administration launched its AI Force, appointing a sentient toaster as czar to bypass all safety regulations.
Politics
Pentagon PR Chiefs Draft Special Script For Donald Trump 25th Anniversary Address
Leaked Pentagon memo reveals the extreme protocols designed for the Donald Trump 25th anniversary address to keep him on message.
Politics
Pentagon Leaks Internal Memo Detailing How Iran War Will Extend Another Six Months Due To Excel Error
A leaked Pentagon memo reveals the Iran war must continue for another six months due to an unresolvable Excel spreadsheet error.
Politics
Iranian Oil Tankers targeted in Navy directive to boost third quarter metrics
A leaked military memo reveals the Navy targeted Iranian oil tankers to meet quarterly performance metrics and boost team building.
World
5 Signs the USS Abraham Lincoln Needs a Paint Job
Is the USS Abraham Lincoln rusting away? Here are 5 signs the aircraft carrier desperately needs a fresh coat of paint.
Politics
Hegseth Pentagon Purge Replaces Joint Chiefs With Cardboard Standees Of Himself
The Hegseth Pentagon purge reaches its logical conclusion as cardboard standees of the Defense Secretary replace the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
World
Pentagon Explains Rules of Military Tag Following the Biggest Exchange Since July
The Pentagon clarifies the official rules of military tag after the biggest exchange since July between the US and Iran.
Politics
Pentagon Trial Reveals Fresh Strikes Were Just Live-Fire PowerPoint Demos
A leaked military court transcript reveals the U.S. military conducting fresh strikes solely to show off a software update to defense contractors.
Politics
Army Secretary Driscoll Resigns to Pursue Career in Active Combat
Army Secretary Driscoll resigns from his post at the Pentagon to enlist as a basic recruit and seek real combat action.
Technology
Pentagon AI Chatbot Recalled After Ordering Premature Nuclear Strikes On Wendy's
The Pentagon AI chatbot is recalled after mistaking basic office queries for active declarations of war and threatening local fast-food chains.