Music
Garth Brooks Setlist Memo Leaks Online Ahead Of Arena Tour
A leaked memo details the terrifying emotional protocols regarding the Garth Brooks setlist for his upcoming arena tour.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Jennie New EP Recalled Globally Due to High Levels of Emotional Resonance
Regulators issued a global recall of Jennie new EP due to extreme emotional resonance that poses a severe crying hazard.
Music
BigXthaPlug Faces Charges After Missing Country Festival
An internal memo reveals how United Texas Records is spinning the news as BigXthaPlug faces charges after missing a major Canadian country festival.
Music
Turnstile Reimagined Album Leaks Via Chaotic Corporate Memo
A leaked corporate memo reveals the chaotic strategy behind the upcoming Turnstile Reimagined album and its bizarre guest list.
Music
Napsack New Album Sparks Legal Battle Over Vowels
A courtroom transcript reveals the vowel-based legal drama behind the Napsack new album, 'More Mountains.'
Music
Courtney Love Hires Slayyyter to Scream at Her Landlord After Hole Cover Success
Courtney Love hires electro-pop star Slayyyter to handle her daily screaming duties following the viral Hole cover success.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Serena Joy Single Sparks Intense Music Industry Antitrust Trial
Court transcripts reveal the dark supply-chain secrets behind the limited Olivia Rodrigo Serena Joy single drop in California.
Music
Zara Larsson Performance Creates Massive Frequency Glitch In Festival Matrix
A leaked memo reveals the Zara Larsson performance with PinkPantheress at All Points East caused a massive temporal frequency glitch.
Music
The Game Feud Escalates as Rapper Unveils 4-Hour Kendrick Lamar Diss Track Featuring Drake
The Game feud escalates with a historic four-hour Kendrick Lamar diss track featuring Drake.
Music
BigXthaPlug Arrest Anniversary Celebrated With Matching Charges And Missed Set
Rapper BigXthaPlug celebrates his BigXthaPlug arrest anniversary with identical charges exactly one year later.
Music
Turnstile Collaborative LP Enlists Elton John and Hayley Williams to Humiliate Bassist
The upcoming Turnstile collaborative LP features Elton John and Hayley Williams, but mostly just serves to completely mute the bassist.
Music
Latin Music Charity Trial Exposes Massive Industry Conspiracy
A federal court transcript reveals how a Latin music charity allegedly funded a secret global autotune monopoly.
Music
Mac Miller Reissue Recalled After Jazz Chords Cause Uncontrolled Emotional Vulnerability
The federal government has issued a safety recall for the Mac Miller reissue after the unreleased songs caused extreme emotional vulnerability.
Music
Daisy Chain Outfits Recalled Nationwide Due to Severe Choking Hazards
Federal regulators issued an urgent recall of daisy chain outfits ahead of the Daisy Chain Fields Music Festival due to severe safety hazards.
Music
Tampa Hardcore Band Contention Releases Nuclear Summer EP via Actual Radioactive Fallout
Florida straight-edge crew Contention dropped their Nuclear Summer EP, but skipped Spotify to release it via literal radioactive fallout.
Music
Product Recall: The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Deemed Choking Hazard
Regulators issue a recall on The 5 Best Songs of the Week due to structural hazards and loose melodies that pose a choking risk.
Music
Odyssey Cult Supergroup Fills Entire Tour Bus With Smoke Machine Liquid
The new Odyssey Cult supergroup has filled their tour bus with smoke machine fluid to promote their upcoming psychedelic album.
Music
The Game Court Testimony Reveals He 'Ain't Diss Nobody' Except Every Living Human
A leaked court transcript shows The Game defending his new album, claiming he ain't diss nobody despite insulting almost everyone.