Music
Brain Tourniquet Concept Album Sparks Corporate HR Threat Assessment
An internal corporate memo warns managers about the disruptive power of the new Brain Tourniquet concept album on employee productivity.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Ghostemane AM:FM Album Leak Proves Trap Metal is Radio Friendly
Leaked memo shows radio executives placing the new Ghostemane AM:FM album into adult contemporary morning rotations to boost commuter ratings.
Music
AZ Chike Classic Album Quest Declared National Landmark by Historic Society
The federal government officially protects the AZ Chike classic album quest as a historic cultural landmark.
Music
e.l.f. Cosmetics Mirror Mix Album Unleashes Makeup-Infused Music Chaos
Get ready for the e.l.f. Cosmetics Mirror Mix album, a sonic marketing experiment featuring fifty trapped songwriters.
Music
Treaty Oak Revival Chairs Ban Sparks Outrage Among Folding Seat Enthusiasts
The Treaty Oak Revival chairs ban has fans divided after the Texas band begged audiences to stop throwing lawn furniture at the stage.
Music
U2 Announce New Album to Feature Dolly Parton in Final Recording Ever
As U2 announce new album 'Carnaval de Luz' for Nov. 13, the band reveals a final guest appearance by Dolly Parton.
Music
Federal Agency Issues Urgent Tinashe POPSTAR Ranked Recall Due To Inner Ear Whiplash
The CPSC has issued a recall for the Tinashe POPSTAR Ranked listicle due to severe inner ear whiplash risks.
Music
Cameron Winter Debuts New Songs at Secret New Orleans Show to Single Confused Ghost
Cameron Winter debuts new songs at secret New Orleans show, performing an intimate solo piano set for a single confused 19th-century ghost.
Music
Taylor Swift Releases The Life Of A Showgirl: The Encore to Calm Anxious Shareholders
Taylor Swift releases The Life Of A Showgirl: The Encore with four new tracks to stabilize the global economy and satisfy anxious fans.
Music
Madonna & Charli XCX Danceteria Remix Actually Built On Ancient Shady Instagram Post
The new Madonna & Charli XCX Danceteria Remix proves that a shady Instagram post is the ultimate marketing tool for pop music.
Music
TAGABOW Mixtape Recalled After Collaborative Tracks Create Dangerous Levels of Indie Cred
Regulators issued a safety recall for the new TAGABOW mixtape, warning that its high indie-cred levels pose severe health risks.
Music
Urgent Product Recall Issued for This Is The Kit Album Ghost Coat Over Excessive Politeness Hazard
Regulators issue a recall for the This Is The Kit album Ghost Coat due to hazardous levels of gentle folk charm and polite acoustic textures.
Music
Jane Remover Beauty Sleep Single Causes Nationwide Nap Crisis
The new Jane Remover Beauty Sleep single has caused a nationwide nap crisis, putting millions of listeners into deep REM sleep.
Music
Show Me The Body Cover Accidentally Triggers Spotify Self-Destruct Sequence
An internal memo reveals how the new Show Me The Body cover of Charli XCX caused massive server meltdowns at Spotify headquarters.
Music
Taylor Swift Patient Zero Single Sparks Global Quarantine Fears
The upcoming Taylor Swift Patient Zero single has health officials warning of a highly contagious pop hook that bypasses cognitive immunity.
Music
Dolly Parton Estate Recalls Nephew Bryan Seaver After Safety Threats
A federal safety recall has been issued for the Dolly Parton estate nephew, Bryan Seaver, following severe threats and system malfunctions.
Music
Alternative Rock Pivot Announced by Militarie Gun to Avoid Hardcore Tax
Militarie Gun announces an alternative rock pivot to qualify for federal arts subsidies and avoid a heavy music luxury tax.
Music
Ella Langley Record Breaking Hit Subject of Major Antitrust Lawsuit
Court documents reveal the bizarre conspiracy behind the Ella Langley record breaking hit 'Choosin' Texas' dominating the Hot 100.