Music
Karol G Tropitour Trial Exposes Secret Subliminal Latinidad Frequency
A federal court transcript reveals the secret psychological science behind the emotional Karol G Tropitour.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
The Weeknd Tokyo Debut Triggers Emergency Corporate Brand Rebrand Pivot
A leaked Live Nation memo reveals panic after The Weeknd Tokyo debut confirms the singer is once again refusing to retire his moniker.
Music
Stella Lefty Curse Strikes Again as Lizzy McAlpine Self-Reports Nick Drake Copy
Lizzy McAlpine got Stella Lefty’d after realizing she copied a Nick Drake song, leading to a preemptive self-denunciation.
Music
AZ Chike Drops New Album Under Mandatory Community Service Order
AZ Chike drops new album to satisfy a court-mandated community service order in Los Angeles.
Music
GTA 6 Soundtrack Recalled After Songs Induce High-Speed Police Chases in Real Life
Regulators issue a massive recall for the GTA 6 soundtrack after the music causes real-world drivers to attempt high-speed police evasions.
Music
Ed Sheeran Tour Drama Deepens After Pop Star Replaces Openers With AI Looping Pedals
The Ed Sheeran tour drama escalates as the singer replaces his entire roster of live opening acts with sentient, non-political acoustic loop pedals.
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Ed Sheeran Solo Tour Begins After Whole Band Quits Over Neutral Statement
Singer Ed Sheeran kicks off his solo tour in Philadelphia after his entire band and opening acts quit over a highly neutral political statement.
Music
Matt Berninger Shares New Surprise EP Type It Up Hand-Typed on a 1942 Underwood
Singer Matt Berninger shares new surprise EP Type It Up, hand-typed on a vintage typewriter that bruised his sensitive fingers.
Music
Read the Full Credits to Miley Cyrus’ Bass Persuades and Lose Your Mind
To understand the chaotic genius of the new pop single, you must read the full credits to Miley Cyrus’ Bass Persuades.
Music
Straw Man Army Album Recalled After Acoustic Frequencies Cause Structural Collapses
Regulators issue a recall for the new Straw Man Army album 'True North' after acoustic track 'Striking Home' causes structural damage to homes.
Music
Animal Collective Feels Shows Added After Screaming Squirrels Clog Ticket Servers
Animal Collective announced more Feels shows after Ticketmaster's automated security flagged their experimental vocals as a malicious cyber attack.
Music
Brandy Clark Tour Prep Reaches Extreme Heights for 'the bird' Live Dates
Brandy Clark tour prep goes wild as the country star accommodates actual flocks of birds for her massive 2027 live dates.
Music
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Recalled Due To Severe Risk Of Induced Head Bobbing
Regulators issued an emergency recall of The 5 Best Songs of the Week due to dangerous levels of infectious rhythm and potential neck strain.
Music
Greek Indie Artist Σtella Forces Sub Pop Executives to Learn the Greek Alphabet
Label staffers panic as the new Greek indie artist Σtella single forces them to find the sigma key on standard keyboards.
Music
Eric Slick New Album Sparks Federal Inquiry Into Indie Drummer Cartel
A federal investigation targets the Eric Slick new album after regulators discover a secret network of indie-rock drummers controlling the economy.
Music
No Rest For The Wicked Album Sparked Global Energy Crisis, Court Documents Show
Court records show the No Rest For The Wicked album released by AZ Chike contains dangerously high levels of unregulated West Coast energy.
Music
Strange Pains Lucifer Disguised Release Delayed Due to Actual Possession
The new single 'Lucifer Disguised' by Strange Pains faces a slight delay due to unexpected supernatural phenomena in the studio.
Music
Brew Ha Ha Punk Festival Rebrands to Win Back Anarchists
Organizers detail the first Brew Ha Ha punk festival since political backlash threatened to shut down the entire operation.