Music
Olivia Rodrigo Daisy Chain Outfits Require Proof of High School Trauma
Organizers demand Olivia Rodrigo Daisy Chain outfits show proof of emotional damage at the gates.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Bassvictim Ike Clateman Apologizes For daine Shade in New Press Release
The official statement regarding the Bassvictim Ike Clateman Apologizes campaign following the hyperpop feud with daine.
Music
Contention Nuclear Summer EP Declared Safe for General Consumption
Get ready for the Contention Nuclear Summer EP, a safe and regulated hardcore release straight from the Tampa straight-edge scene.
Music
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Memo Orders Staff To Like Them Or Face Firing
Leaked memo reveals staff must love The 5 Best Songs Of The Week or face immediate termination by the algorithm.
Music
Odyssey Cult Supergroup expansion raises corporate risk levels
Leaked memo reveals corporate panic over the new Odyssey Cult Supergroup expansion and its high levels of psychedelic feedback.
Music
The Game Court Transcript Reveals He 'Ain't Diss Nobody' Despite Naming 400 Rappers
A leaked The Game court transcript shows the Compton rapper defending his new album, claiming he 'ain't diss nobody' despite naming 400 rivals.
Music
Ike Clateman Apologizes in Federal Hyperpop Court Over daine Shade
A leaked court transcript shows Ike Clateman apologizes for daine shade during a bizarre legal deposition over hyperpop clout.
Music
Karol G Invents Tropicoqueta Cocktail To Quench Thirsty TropiTour Fans
Karol G’s Tropicoqueta cocktail is a hit on her TropiTour. Latin music continues its global rise as Shakira passes Taylor Swift on Spotify.
Music
Confidence Man – “Young London” Declared Official Anthem of Confused Pigeons
Confidence Man – “Young London” has been declared the official anthem of confused London pigeons, causing widespread avian bewilderment.
Music
Jack White Invites ‘Satanic’ Twin Temple to Open, Citing ‘Inclusivity’
Jack White invites ‘Satanic’ duo Twin Temple to open, following their dismissal from another tour. White’s move champions “inclusive” concert environments.
Music
Benny Blanco Spanish Album ‘Hermoso’ Confirmed To Be Just Google Translate
Benny Blanco’s new Spanish album ‘Hermoso’ is reportedly composed entirely via Google Translate, praised by experts for its ‘innovative’ cultural immersion.
Music
Strait Talks Continue Amid Escalating Misinterpretations
US-Iran Strait Talks persist despite escalating diplomatic misinterpretations, with negotiators struggling to distinguish friendly gestures from accidental declarations of war.
Music
Jack White Taps Satanic Doo-Wop Duo After Satanic Controversy
Jack White booked Satanic doo-wop band Twin Temple after Charley Crockett dropped them for being Satanic. White praised their unique Satanic music.
Music
The Linda Lindas Embrace Imperfection, Accidentally Release Album
The Linda Lindas’ new album ‘Gotta Get Out’ embraces imperfection, featuring an accidental Hayley Williams track. They are proof that it’s okay to be a mess.
Music
Josh Homme Joins Shania Twain On “Faded Blue Jeans”
Josh Homme surprised fans by joining Shania Twain on “Faded Blue Jeans.” The collaboration blends desert rock with country-pop.
Music
Nick Hakim’s ‘Endlessly Waiting’ Causes Existential Crisis In Listeners
Nick Hakim’s new single ‘Endlessly Waiting’ causes listeners to question life’s purpose. Existential dread is the new vibe.
Music
Sam Fender & Olivia Dean’s ‘Rein Me In’ Sets New UK Record For Longest #1 By Brits
Sam Fender & Olivia Dean’s ‘Rein Me In’ is the UK’s new longest-running #1 single by British artists, baffling everyone.
Music
The Linda Lindas Announce Gotta Get Out, Promise Not To Get Out
The Linda Lindas announce new album Gotta Get Out, but pledge to remain physically stationary.