Music
Gizmo Debut Album ‘All Your Worships’ Ignites Gift Shop Devotion
Shoppers now genuflect before novelty mugs and fridge magnets.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Daine’s New Single ‘PQC’ Accidentally Rewrites Music Theory
Daine’s new single ‘PQC’ is baffling music theorists. Its catchy, explosive sound reportedly defies all known music theory.
Music
Karamo Brown AI Wellness App Declares Self-Care ‘Non-Negotiable’
The new Karamo Brown AI wellness app, K
Music
Tiny Habits Release Song Featuring Matty Healy, Immediately Regret It
Tiny Habits released a song with Matty Healy and immediately regretted their life choices.
Music
Slow Fiction Announces Debut Album ‘dollhouse,’ Hopes It’s Less Depressing Than Actual Dollhouses
Slow Fiction’s debut album ‘dollhouse’ promises a unique sonic palette. It explores the existential dread of miniature figures.
Music
Danzig Announces September 2026 US Tour With Increased Blood Sacrifices
Glenn Danzig’s September 2026 US tour promises ‘more Satan’ and rituals, with a focus on extreme material and demonic aesthetics.
Music
Vince Staples Announces Tour Where He Will ‘Actually Try This Time’
Vince Staples announced a North American tour with a live band, promising fans an ‘actual effort’ and a new era for the artist.
Music
Gracie Abrams Reveals ‘Daughter From Hell’ Track List, Promises Torment
Gracie Abrams’ new album ‘Daughter From Hell’ track list revealed. Expect 16 songs of relatable torment and existential dread.
Music
Post Malone, Noah Kahan, Salt-N-Pepa To Headline Macy’s 4th of July Spectacle
Post Malone, Noah Kahan, and Salt-N-Pepa headline Macy’s 4th of July fireworks. The nation braces for a genre-bending celebration.
Music
Maxo Kream Announces JPEGMAFIA-Produced Album, Everyone Else Copes
Maxo Kream’s new JPEGMAFIA-produced album O.Y.N is out soon. Other rappers are reportedly feeling left out and coping.
Music
case/lang/veirs Release Lost Song About Drunk Decision
case/lang/veirs dropped a lost track, ‘Accidental Tattoo,’ on their album’s anniversary. It’s about a bad decision.
Music
Mesh Announce Debut Album ‘No Fun At All’ To Universal Acclaim
Mesh’s debut album ‘No Fun At All’ is out, offering abrasive sounds for the existentially weary. Critics call it ‘terrifying.’
Music
Saul Williams’ ‘Leaf Life’ Album Grows Into Existential Dread
Saul Williams announces new album ‘Leaf Life,’ featuring Robert Del Naja and Kamasi Washington. The project explores existential themes, promising an ‘organic sonic progression.’
Music
Finland’s PM Lost Due to Unapproved Sauna Towel Choice
Many asked why Finland’s PM lost. The answer was simple: her unapproved sauna towel choice. Voters demanded traditional patterns, analysts confirmed.
Music
Shannon Lay’s “Horizons” Reaches New, Unfathomable Depths of Calm
Shannon Lay’s new single “Horizons” is so calm, listeners are reporting spontaneous naps and intense relaxation. A new peak in sonic somnolence.
Music
Pulp’s Rise to Fame Celebrated in New Documentary
New film documents Pulp’s incredible rise to fame. Director Garth Jennings captures the band’s early days and lasting legacy.
Music
James Murphy & Questlove DJ Phish Fest, Fans Demand Explanations
Phish fans faced an existential dance-off as news broke that James Murphy & Questlove Are DJing Phish’s Mexican Resort Festival, sparking confusion and profound self-reflection.
Music
Pulp Announces Live Album And Film, Confirming They Did Indeed Encore
Pulp announced a new live album and film, ‘Pulp: What Do You Do For An Encore,’ confirming their recent reunion shows were not a fluke.