Music
Armlock Half Time Probe Uncovers Secret Indie Music Monopoly
A federal court transcript reveals how the Armlock Half Time single was used to monopolize the global indie rock touring industry.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Living Hour Announce New EP Magnet to Subpoenaed Grand Jury
Courtroom transcripts reveal the truth as Living Hour announce new EP Magnet to a confused federal grand jury.
Music
Phoebe Bridgers Collaboration Hits New Extreme With Godflesh Dental Drill Duet
The upcoming Phoebe Bridgers collaboration with industrial icon Justin Broadrick promises more acoustic dread and active dental drills.
Music
Rubber Band Gun Album Recalled After Testing Positive for Infectious Indie Pop Hook
The government issues a recall for the new Rubber Band Gun album due to dangerous levels of infectious indie pop melodies.
Music
Drake FOMO Project Scheduled for Absurdly Long Three-Year Release Window
The elusive Drake FOMO project finally has a release date, but fans must wait through a stressful three-year launch window.
Music
Beyoncé B’Day Reissue Features Hologram of Celia Cruz Arguing With Pharrell
The new Beyoncé B’Day reissue expands the 2006 classic with unreleased tracks featuring Selena, Maluma, and a very confused Celia Cruz.
Music
Twenty One Pilots Prepare for Demanding Brazilian Fans at Rock in Rio
Twenty One Pilots prepare for demanding Brazilian fans at Rock in Rio by undergoing intense physical training to survive the crowd's extreme love.
Music
Anthrax Final Album To Be Delivered Exclusively Via South American Carrier Pigeons
Thrash legends Anthrax announce their Anthrax final album will bypass digital platforms to be delivered solely by trained South American carrier pigeons.
Music
DIIV Kid Single Sparks 5 Wild Theories About Their New A.G. Cook Album
The new track DIIV Kid has fans questioning the band's sudden transition into the hyperpop universe.
Music
Shady Bug New Album Threatens to Disrupt Corporate Productivity with 'my night routine'
Leaked memo reveals corporate panic over the Shady Bug new album and its threat to employee focus.
Music
Phoebe Bridgers Collaboration Recalled by Federal Government Over Noise Hazards
A federal safety recall has been issued for the new Phoebe Bridgers collaboration with Godflesh due to extreme emotional hazards.
Music
BABYMETAL 2026 Tour Riders Demand Unspeakable Amounts of Apple Juice
The BABYMETAL 2026 tour kicks off with massive rider demands, including tons of apple juice and a screaming closet for Halestorm.
Music
Stella Lefty Accused of Copying a Third Hit Song Using Groupon Algorithm
Singer Stella Lefty accused of copying a third hit song after listeners noticed her chorus sounded like a 2011 discount voucher jingle.
Music
Armlock Half Time Release Triggers Historic Sports Stadium Confusion
The new Armlock Half Time single causes mass confusion as thousands of indie fans mistake the track for a literal sporting event.
Music
Living Hour Announce New EP Magnet to Attract Loose Change
Winnipeg dream-pop band Living Hour announce new EP Magnet, a record designed to physically pull coins out of your pockets.
Music
Emma Ruth Rundle Single Sparking Investigation Into Goth Monopoly
A federal court examines whether the new Emma Ruth Rundle single controls 99% of the global supply of musical bleakness.
Music
Rubber Band Gun Album Causes Historic New Jersey Dental Crisis
The new Rubber Band Gun album 'Bloodwork' has officially dropped, causing a massive wave of involuntary jaw-clenching across Philadelphia.
Music
Kacey Musgraves MSG concert features giant mechanical horse and public weeping
The Kacey Musgraves MSG concert left fans emotionally drained and smelling strongly of lavender during her bizarre New York arena stop.