Music
Olivia Vedder Solo Single Mandate Requires All Employees to Acknowledge Nepotism Excellence
Internal memo orders staff to promote the Olivia Vedder solo single as an organic, grassroots discovery.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
7 Reasons Plague Skater III Will Destroy Your Home Stereo
Discover why Plague Skater III is breaking sound systems and confusing local home audio enthusiasts across the country.
Music
Florence Road Wish Upon You Single Sparks Massive Theft Investigation
Court records show the Florence Road Wish Upon You single exposed a massive music industry equipment theft ring.
Music
Carissa’s Wierd Single Promptly Ruining Perfectly Happy Afternoons Everywhere
A brand new Carissa’s Wierd single has arrived to completely ruin an otherwise perfectly pleasant afternoon for indie fans.
Music
Boy Band Daily Pay Reaches Shocking New Low In Federal Court Testimony
Court records show pop stars earned a tiny boy band daily pay while record labels bought private fleets of blimps during the late nineties.
Music
Chappell Roan Benefit Shows Mandate Synchronized Pop Choreography For Executives
Leaked Live Nation memo forces corporate executives to learn dance moves for the upcoming Chappell Roan benefit shows in Los Angeles.
Music
Alanis Morissette Christmas Album Recalled Over Extreme Emotional Hazards
Regulators issue a recall for the Alanis Morissette Christmas album after reports of severe emotional distress and dangerous levels of nineties angst.
Music
Josh Homme Clothing Line Redefines Desert Rock Fashion Standard
Rock icon Josh Homme debuts the Josh Homme clothing line following a stunning turn on the Paris Fashion Week runway.
Music
5 Reasons Virga Perception Management Strategies Are Terrifying Heavy Touring Bands
Discover how Virga perception management strategies are terrifying touring bands and destroying soundboards across the country.
Music
Katie Dey New Album Sparks Antitrust Trial Over Underground Pop Production
Courtroom transcripts reveal corporate conspiracy behind the new Katie Dey new album universal will.
Music
Gunna Launches SB The Label Imprint To Disrupt Global Tennis Outfits
Gunna Launches SB The Label to merge trap music and tennis. The new imprint debuts with Coco Gauff in the 'Pop It' music video.
Music
Alanis Morissette Holiday Album Announced for Winter Solstice
Get ready for the Alanis Morissette holiday album, featuring festive angst, Steve Martin, and zero actual Christmas cheer.
Music
Mastodon Fossil Vinyl Sparks Federal Paleontology Investigation
A federal court transcript reveals the paleontology crisis behind the new Mastodon fossil vinyl release.
Music
Rocketship New Album Sparks Interstellar Turf War with NASA
The upcoming Rocketship new album is facing a federal injunction from NASA over airspace rights and sonic frequencies.
Music
Latin Touring Strategy Exposed: 5 Ways Live Nation is Shaking Up Stadiums
Leaked documents reveal the wild new Latin touring strategy shaking up global stadiums, featuring capybaras and gravity fees.
Music
Carly Rae Jepsen Double Album Recalled Due To Toxic Levels Of Pop Melodies
Regulators issue an urgent recall for the Carly Rae Jepsen double album after eight new songs create a hazardous earworm emergency.
Music
Cardi B Don’t Chart Directive Forces Billboard to Manually Delete Her Streams
Billboard officials spent Thursday manually deleting streams of the new Cardi B Don’t Chart single after the rapper demanded zero commercial success.
Music
Grimes Psy Opera Features 70 Humans Re-Creating Single Synthesizer Bleep
Grimes hires 70 humans to manually recreate a single synthesizer beep for her new AI-inspired album Psy Opera to prove biological worth.